How To Be Happy
Praise be to Allaah.
Peace of mind, contentment, happiness and freedom from worries
and anxiety. These things are what everyone wants, and these are
the ways in which people can have a good life and find complete
happiness and joy. There are religious means of achieving that,
and natural and practical means, but no one can combine all of
them except the believers; although other people may achieve
some of them, they will miss out on others.
Here follows a summary of the means of achieving this aim for
which everyone is striving. In some cases, those who achieve
many of them will live a joyful life and a good life; in other
cases, those who fail to achieve all of them will live a life of
misery and hardship. And there are others which are in between,
according to what the means he is able to attain. These means
include the following:
1 – Faith and righteous deeds:
This is the greatest and most fundamental of means. Allah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“Whoever works righteousness —
whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer
(of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life
(in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision),
and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the
best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)”
[al-Nahl 16:97]
Allah tells us and promises us that whoever combines
faith with righteous deeds will have a good life and a good
reward in this world and in the Hereafter.
The reason for that is clear: those who believe in Allah –
with sincere faith that motivates them to do righteous deeds
that change hearts and attitudes and guides them to the straight
path in this world and the Hereafter – follow principles and
guidelines by means of which they deal with everything that
happens to them, be it the causes of happiness and excitement or
the causes of anxiety, worry and grief.
They deal with the things that they like by accepting them and
giving thanks for them, and using them in good ways. When they
deal with them in this manner, that creates in them a sense of
excitement and the hope that it will continue and that they will
be rewarded for their gratitude, which is more important than
the good things that happen to them. And they deal with bad
things, worries and distress by resisting those that they can
resist, alleviating those that they can alleviate, and bearing
with goodly patience those that they cannot avoid. Thus as a
result of the bad things they gain a lot of benefits,
experience, strength, patience and hope of reward, which are
more important and which diminish the hardships they have
undergone and replace them with happiness and hope for the
bounty and reward of Allah.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) expressed
this in a saheeh hadeeth in which he said: “How wonderful
is the situation of the believer, for all his affairs are good.
If something good happens to him, he gives thanks for it and
that is good for him; if something bad happens to him, he bears
it with patience, and that is good for him. This does not apply
to anyone but the believer.” (Narrated by Muslim, no.
2999).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) told us
that the believer is always gaining and the reward for his deeds
is always multiplying, no matter what happens to him, good or
bad.
2 – Being kind to people in word and deed, and all kinds of
doing good.
This is one of the means of removing worry, distress and
anxiety. By this means Allah wards off worries and distress from
righteous and immoral alike, but the believer has the greater
share of that, and is distinguished by the fact that his
kindness to others stems from sincerity and the hope of reward,
so Allah makes it easy for him to be kind to others because of
the hope that this will bring good things and ward off bad
things, by means of his sincerity and hope of reward.
Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“There is no good in most of their
secret talks save (in) him who orders Sadaqah (charity in
Allaah’s Cause), or Ma‘roof (Islamic Monotheism and all the
good and righteous deeds which Allaah has ordained), or
conciliation between mankind; and he who does this, seeking the
good Pleasure of Allaah, We shall give him a great reward”
[al-Nisa’ 4:114]
Part of that great reward is relief from worry,
distress, troubles, etc.
3 – Another of the means of warding off anxiety that stems
from nervous tension and being preoccupied with disturbing
thoughts is to occupy oneself with good deeds or seeking
beneficial knowledge, for that will distract one from dwelling
on the matters that are causing anxiety. In this way a person
may forget about the things that are making him worried and
distressed, and he may become happy and more energetic. This is
another means that believers and others have in common, but the
believer is distinguished by his faith, sincerity and hope of
reward when he occupies himself with that knowledge which he is
learning or teaching, or with the good deeds that he is doing.
The work with which he occupies himself should be something that
he likes and enjoys, for that is more likely to produce the
desired results. And Allaah knows best.
4 – Another thing that may ward off worry and anxiety is
focusing all one’s thoughts of the present day, and not
worrying about the future or grieving about the past. Hence the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) sought refuge
with Allah from worry and regret, from regret for things in the
past which one cannot put right or change, and worry which may
come because of fear for the future. So one should focus only on
the present day, and focus one's efforts on getting things right
today. For if a person is focused on that, this means that he
will do things properly and forget about worry and regret. When
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said a
du’a or taught a du’a to his Ummah (community), as well as
urging them to seek the help of Allah and hope for His bounty,
he was also urging them to strive to attain the thing they were
praying for through their own efforts and to forget about the
thing which they were praying would be warded off from them.
Because du’a (supplication) must be accompanied by action.
So a person must strive to attain that which will benefit him in
worldly and spiritual terms, and ask his Lord to make his
efforts successful, and he should seek His help in that, as the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
“Strive for that which will benefit you and seek the help of
Allaah, and do not be helpless. If anything (bad) happens to
you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such-and-such, then
such-and-such would have happened.’ Rather you should say,
‘Qaddara Allaah wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allah decrees, and
what He wills He does),’ for (the words) ‘If only’ open
the door to the Shaytaan.” (Narrated by Muslim).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) connected
the matter of striving to achieve good things with the matter of
seeking the help of Allah and not giving in to feelings of
helplessness which are a harmful kind of laziness, and with the
matter of accepting things in the past which are over and done
with, and acknowledging that the will and decree of Allah will
inevitably come to pass. He described matters as being of two
types:
1 – Matters which a person may strive to achieve or to
achieve whatever he can of them, or to ward them off or
alleviate them. In such cases a person must strive and make the
effort, and also seek the help of Allah.
2 – Matters where such is not possible, so he must have peace
of mind, accept them and submit to Allah’s will.
Undoubtedly paying attention to this principle will
bring happiness and relieve worry and distress.
5 – One of the greatest means of feeling content and relaxed
and of acquiring peace of mind is to remember Allah a great deal
(dhikr). That has a great effect in bringing contentment and
peace of mind, and relieving worry and distress. Allah says:
“Verily, in the remembrance of Allah
do hearts find rest”
[al-Ra’d 13:28]
Remembering Allah (dhikr) has a great effect in achieving this
aim because it has a special influence and because of the hope
that it brings of reward.
6 – Another of the means of bringing happiness and relieving
worry and distress is striving to eliminate the things that
cause worry and to achieve the things that bring happiness. That
may be done by forgetting about bad things in the past which
cannot be changed, and realizing that dwelling on them is a
waste of time. So a person must strive to stop himself from
thinking of that, and also strive to stop himself from feeling
anxious about the future and the things that he may imagine of
poverty, fear and other bad things that he thinks may happen to
him in the future. He should realize that the future is
something unknown; he cannot know what good or bad things are
going to happen to him. That is in the hand of the Almighty, the
Most Wise, and all that His slaves can do is to strive to attain
the good things and to ward off the bad things. A person should
realize that if he diverts his thoughts from worrying about his
future and puts his trust in his Lord to take care of his
situation, and puts his mind at rest concerning that, if he does
that, then his heart will be at peace and his situation will
improve and he will be relieved of worry and anxiety.
One of the most effective ways of dealing with worries about the
future is to recite this du’a which the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him) used to recite:
“Allaahumma aslih li deeni alladhi huwa ‘ismatu amri,
wa aslih li dunyaaya allati fiha ma’aashi, wa aslih li
aakhirati allati ilayha ma’aadi, waj’al al-hayaata
ziyaadatan li fi kulli khayr, wa’l-mawta raahatan li min kulli
sharr (O Allaah, correct my religious commitment which is the
foundation of my life, and correct my worldly affairs in which
is my livelihood, and grant me good in the Hereafter to which is
my return. Make my life a means of accumulating good, and make
death a respite for me from all evil).” (Narrated by
Muslim, 2720).
And he said, “Allaahumma rahmataka arju fa la takilni
ila nafsi tarfata ‘aynin wa aslih li sha’ni kullahu, laa
ilaaha illa anta (O Allaah, for Your mercy I hope, so do not
abandon me to myself even for a moment. And correct all my
affairs. There is no god but You).” (Narrated by Abu
Dawood with a saheeh isnaad, no. 5090; classed as hasan by al-Albaani
in Saheeh al-Kalim al-Tayyib, p. 49).
If a person utters these du’as, which ask that his spiritual
and worldly affairs may be set right or corrected, with proper
presence of mind and sincerity of intention, whilst striving to
achieve that, Allah will grant him what he has prayed for, hoped
for and striven for, and He will turn his worry into joy and
happiness.
7 – If a person experiences anxiety and distress because of a
disaster, then one of the most effective means of relieving
himself of that is to think of the worst scenario to which that
may lead, and try to accept that. When he has done that, then he
should try to alleviate it as much as possible. By means of this
acceptance and these efforts, he will relieve himself of his
worries and distress, and instead of worrying he will strive to
bring about good things and to deal with whatever he can of the
bad things. If he is faced with things that cause fear or the
possibility of sickness or poverty, then he should deal with
that by striving to make himself accept that, or something even
worse, with contentment, because by making himself accept the
worst-case scenario, he lessens the impact of the thing and
makes it seem less terrible, especially if he occupies himself
with efforts to ward it off as much as he can. Thus as well as
striving to achieve something good which will distract him from
his worries about calamity, he will also renew his strength to
resist bad things, and put his trust and reliance in Allah.
Undoubtedly these matters are of great benefit in attaining
happiness and peace of mind, as well as bringing the hope of
reward in this world and in the Hereafter. This is something
which is well known from the experience of many who have tried
it.
8 – Steadfastness of heart and not being disturbed about the
imaginary things that bad thoughts may bring to mind. For when a
person gives in to his imagination and lets his mind be
disturbed by these thoughts, such as fear of disease and the
like, or anger and confusion stirred up by some grievous matter,
or the expectation of bad things and the loss of good things,
that will fill him with worries, distress, mental and physical
illness and nervous breakdowns, which will have a bad effect on
him and which causes a great deal of harm, as many people have
seen. But when a person depends on Allah and puts his trust in
Him, and does not give in to his imagination or let bad thoughts
overwhelm him, and he relies on Allah and has hope of His
bounty, that wards off his worries and distress, and relieves
him of a great deal of mental and physical sickness. It gives
indescribable strength, comfort and happiness to the heart. How
many hospitals are filled with the mentally sick victims of
illusions and harmful imagination; how often have these things
had an effect upon the hearts of many strong people, let alone
the weak ones; how often have they led to foolishness and
insanity.
It should be noted that your life will follow your train of
thought. If your thoughts are of things that will bring you
benefit in your spiritual or worldly affairs, then your life
will be good and happy. Otherwise it will be the opposite.
The person who is safe from all of that is the one who is
protected by Allah and helped by Him to strive to achieve that
which will benefit and strengthen the heart and ward off
anxiety. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And whosoever puts his trust in
Allah, then He will suffice him”
[al-Talaaq 65:3]
i.e., He will be sufficient for all that is worrying
him in his spiritual and worldly affairs. The one who puts his
trust in Allah will have strength in his heart and will not be
affected by anything he imagines or be disturbed by events,
because he knows that these are the result of vulnerable human
nature and of weakness and fear that have no basis. He also
knows that Allah has guaranteed complete sufficiency to those
who put their trust in Him. So he trusts in Allah and finds
peace of mind in His promise, and thus his worry and anxiety are
dispelled; hardship is turned to ease, sadness is turned to joy,
fear is turned to peace. We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound,
and to bless us with strength and steadfastness of heart, and
complete trust, for Allah has guaranteed all good things to
those who put their trust in Him, and has guaranteed to ward off
all bad and harmful things from them.
If bad things happen or there is the fear of such, then you
should count the many blessings that you are still enjoying,
both spiritual and worldly, and compare them with the bad things
that have happened, for when you compare them you will see the
many blessings that you are enjoying, and this will make the bad
things appear less serious.
See al-Wasaa’il al-Mufeedah li’l-Hayaat al-Sa’eedah by
Shatkh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Sa’di
Ibn al-Qayyim summed fifteen ways through which Allah may dispel
worries and regret. These are as follows:
1- Tawheed al-Ruboobiyyah (belief in the Oneness of Divine
Lordship)
2- Tawheed al-Uloohiyyah (belief in the Oneness of the Divine
nature)
3- Tawheed of knowledge and belief (i.e., Tawheed al-Asma’
wa’l_Sifaat, belief in the Oneness of the Divine names and
attributes)
4- Thinking of Allah as being above doing any injustice to His
slaves, and above punishing anyone for no cause on the part of
the slave that would require such punishment.
5- The person’s acknowledging that he is the one who has done
wrong.
6- Beseeching Allah by means of the things that are most beloved
to Him, which are His names and attributes. Two of His names
that encompass the meanings of all other names and attributes
are al-Hayy (the Ever-Living) and al-Qayyoom (the Eternal).
7- Seeking the help of Allah Alone.
8- Affirming one's hope in Him.
9- Truly putting one’s trust in Him and leaving matters to
Him, acknowledging that one's forelock is in His hand and that
He does as He wills, that His will is forever executed and that
He is just in all that He decrees.
10-Letting one's heart wander in the garden of the Qur’an,
seeking consolation in it from every calamity, seeking healing
in it from all diseases of the heart, so that it will bring
comfort to his grief and healing for his worries and distress.
11-Seeking forgiveness.
12-Repentance.
13-Jihad.
14-Salaah (prayer).
15-Declaring that he has no power and no strength, and leaving
matters to the One in Whose hand they are.
We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound from
worries and to relieve us of distress and anxiety, for He is the
All-Hearing, Ever-Responsive, and He is the Ever-Living, Eternal
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