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Is
Your Teenager SAD?
Social
Anxiety Disorder and Muslim Teenagers
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IS
THIS YOUR FAMILY?
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You
come home and find your teenager in a fiery fit over how
her schoolmates made fun of her new outfit that she had
spent hours choosing. She screams that she is better off
alone, and runs to her room.
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You
are hosting the 'Eid ul Fitr gathering at your home. Your
teenage son refuses to come out of his room to greet
relatives and family friends. He complains that everyone
looks at him in a funny way. He is afraid that they are
always watching his every move.
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One of the least diagnosed conditions
that teenagers face is social anxiety disorder (SAD). Reading about SAD
among Muslim teenagers may come as a surprise to many of us because of
the emphasis on family and community life in Islam.
The family unit is of central importance in Islam because it is the
family that prepares children to be active participants in society. And
we know that Islam encourages the believers to pray in congregation, to
work together, to share a meal with family or friends. So is this
discussion about SAD even relevant to Muslim youth?
In the United States, SAD is reportedly the third largest psychological
problem. Nearly 15 million Americans are said to suffer from this
disorder. A high number of referrals to mental health professionals
often result in the misdiagnosis of SAD patients as being clinically
depressed. This misdiagnosis is partly the result of insufficient
discussion and research about SAD among professionals, and partly due to
an inability of patients to verbalize their condition. Often times,
secondary symptoms serve as better indicators during assessment.
Interestingly enough, most of the research on the treatment of SAD
indicates that it is not a medical condition in that it requires
therapy. Cognitive-behavior therapy has proven to yield the best
results, with the number of sessions ranging anywhere between twelve and
thirty depending on the severity of the condition.
A Closer Look at SAD Among Muslim Children
Given the high tendency in our society towards individualistic
lifestyles, it is likely that more and more people will experience this
psychological problem. The scenarios presented at the beginning of this
article shed some light on potential trouble spots that parents should
be on the lookout for.
Even among Muslims, various shifts in development and in family and
community life can account for an onset of SAD among children. For
example, fearing embarrassment is common among teenagers who long to be
accepted among their peers. Muslim youth, particularly young girls who
have begun to wear hijab, may be especially vulnerable to experiencing
feelings of not fitting in or of sticking out in the crowd.
Even when no one is watching them, people who suffer from SAD often feel
as if they are the focus of everyone's attention - not in an arrogant
manner, but to the contrary, they feel as though everyone is judging or
making fun of them.
In the first scenario, the young girl who concluded that she is better
off alone is, in reality, reacting in such a way to avoid potentially
embarrassing situations in the future. If her parents do not respond
appropriately the first time she expresses a profound fear of
embarrassment, it is possible that this teen might begin to avoid being
seen in public. It is important that her parents do their best to
immediately de-construct the situation, and help her realize that she
need not fear appearing in public. Parents must actively work to
reassure their children that their uniqueness contributes to the
diversity of their schools and communities.
Should a fear of embarrassment become excessive, parents are strongly
advised to seek out a same-gender Muslim professional to work with the
child over a period of time. Again, SAD is not a medical problem, but is
rather a psychological condition that requires professional
intervention. Parents are encouraged not to be impatient or force their
children into the situations that they are obviously trying hard to
avoid. And neither should parents enable their children to simply give
in to their fears of embarrassment and avoid public settings entirely.
A common phenomenon among Muslim families is that when children reach
the teenage years, they begin to seek exemption from participation in
masjid activities and other both informal and formal get-togethers.
While very few teenagers consider the activities of non-teens as cool or
enjoyable, there is reason for concern when a teenager shows great
anxiety whenever the possibility of being in a social situation arises.
Also, sudden shifts in behavior and emotions can be indicative of an
anxiety with social situations. Parents must monitor such situations,
and look for patterns of reaction from their teens.
A common behavior among teenagers with SAD is that they find great
satisfaction in reading books, watching television alone, or merely
staying away from others. Again, parents are not encouraged to force
their teens to be active participants in social situations. High levels
of anxiety coupled with the fear of embarrassment may drive a teenager
to become further reclusive. It is better to talk a situation out with a
teenager, and attempt to come to some compromise. For example, a family
might agree that the teenager attend the first half of a gathering, and
then go and read or do whatever he or she wants to do. Slowly, and with
professional help, Insha'Allah, the teenager will come to terms with his
or her anxiety. But the process must be allowed to unfold - however long
it takes.
The adolescent years are difficult to begin with. It is even tougher
being a Muslim adolescent in a predominantly non-Muslim society. As
such, parents are encouraged to establish and maintain regular
communication with their children, and to do their best to assist them
in becoming stable and productive members of our society. And, in the
case of suspected SAD, parents cannot assume that their teens will just
grow out of their fears of embarrassment and their tendencies to avoid
social situations. Rather, through careful monitoring, patience and the
involvement of professionals, it is entirely possible that anxious
teenagers can be helped to live normal lives.
There is no reason to fear professional intervention as a precautionary
measure. At the first warning signs, rather than wait for a teen to
suffer from SAD-ness, parents should immediately seek out professional
assistance to help put him or her back on the road to an enjoyable and
healthy experience of growing up.
http://www.islam-online.net/english/society/2000/2/article2.shtml
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