The Muslim Home - 40 recommendations

40 Naseeha Li-Islaah il-Booyout
The Muslim Home - 40 recommendations
English Translation
Book by Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Contents
Introduction
Forming the household
Creating an atmosphere of faith in the home
Islamic Knowledge in the home
Meetings at home
Good manners at home
Evils in the home
The home inside and out
Introduction
Bismillaah il-Rahmaan il-Raheem
In the Name of Allaah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
All praise be to Allaah, we praise Him and seek His help and forgiveness. We
seek refuge
with Allaah from the evil of our own selves and from our evil deeds.
Whomsoever Allaah
guides, no one can lead astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one
can guide. I
bear witness that there is no god but Allaah Alone, with no partner or
associate, and I bear
witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
The home is a blessing.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "And Allaah has made for you in
your homes an
abode..." [al-Nahl 16:80]
Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "Here Allaah, may He be
blessed and
exalted, is mentioning His complete blessing to His slaves: He has given
them homes which
are a peaceful abode for them, to which they retreat as a haven which covers
them and gives
them all kinds of benefits."
What does the home represent to each one of us? Is it not the place where he
eats, enjoys
intimacy with his wife, sleeps and rests? Is it not the place where he can
be alone and can
meet with his wife and children?
Is the home not the place that offers cover and protection to women? Allaah
tells us
(interpretation of the meaning): "And stay in your houses, and do not
display yourselves like
that of the times of ignorance..." [al-Ahzaab 33:33]
If you think about those who are homeless, who live in shelters, or on the
streets, or as
refugees scattered in temporary camps, then you will realize the blessing of
having a home.
If you listen to a distressed homeless person saying, "I have nowhere to
settle, no fixed place
to stay. Sometimes I sleep in so and so's house, sometimes in a café or park
or on the seafront,
and I keep my clothes in my car", then you will realize the disruption that
results from
not having the blessing of a home.
When Allaah punished the Jews of Banu Nadeer, He took away this blessing and
expelled
them from their homes, as He said (interpretation of the meaning): "He it is
Who drove out
the disbelievers among the people of the Scripture (i.e. the Jews of the
tribe of Banu al-
Nadeer) from their homes at the first gathering." Then He said: "... they
destroyed their
own dwellings with their own hands and the hands of the believers. Then take
admonition, O
you with eyes (to see)." [al-Hashr 59:2].
There are many motives for the believer to pay attention to putting his
house in order.
Firstly: protecting himself and his family from the Fire of Hell, and
keeping them safe from
the burning punishment: "O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and
your families a
Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels
stern (and)
severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from
Allaah, but do
that which they are commanded." [al-Tahreem 66:6 - interpretation of the
meaning].
Secondly: the great responsibility borne by the head of the household on the
Day of
Reckoning.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Allaah will
ask every
shepherd (or responsible person) about his flock (those for whom he was
responsible),
whether he took care of it or neglected it, until He asks a man about his
household."
Thirdly: the home is a place to protect oneself, to keep away from evil and
to keep one's own
evil away from people. It is the refuge prescribed by Islam at times of
fitnah (strife,
tribulation).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Blessed is
the one who
controls his tongue, whose house is sufficient for him, and who weeps over
his mistakes. "
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There are
five things,
whoever does one of them, Allaah will be with him: visiting the sick, going
out for jihaad,
entering upon his leader with the intention of rebuking and respecting him ,
or sitting in his
home so that the people are safe from him and he is safe from the people."
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The safety of
a man at times
of fitnah is in his staying home."
The Muslim can see the benefit of this advice when he is residing in a
foreign land where he
is unable to change much of the evil around him. Then he will have a refuge
which, when he
enters it, will protect him from doing haraam things or looking at haraam
things, and will
protect his wife from wanton display and unveiling, and will protect his
children from bad
company.
Fourthly: people usually spend most of their time at home, especially when
it is very hot or
very cold, when it is raining, early or late in the day, and after finishing
work or school, so
this time should be spent in worship and halaal pursuits, otherwise it will
be spent in
wrongdoing.
Fifthly and most importantly, paying attention to the home is the most
important means of
building a Muslim society, because the society is formed of the households
and families that
form its building blocks. Households form neighbourhoods, and neighbourhoods
form
societies. If the building blocks are sound, the society will be based on
the laws of Allaah,
standing firm in the face of enemies and filled with goodness that evil
cannot penetrate.
Then Muslim homes will produce pillars of society who will reform and guide
it aright, such
as exemplary dai'yahs, seekers of knowledge, sincere mujaahideen, righteous
wives, caring
mothers and all other types of reformers.
Because this subject is so important, and our homes are full of so many
shortcomings and
evils and examples of negligence, this begs the very important question:
What are the means of reforming our homes?
The following contains advice on this topic. May Allaah benefit us from it,
and cause the
Muslims to focus their efforts on reviving the Muslim home.
All the following advice revolves around two things: achieving our
interests, which is by
establishing that which is right and good, and warding off evil, by removing
that which can
cause it or bring it into our homes.
[ Table of Contents ]
Forming the household
Making a good choice when choosing a wife
"And marry those among you who are single (i.e., a man who has no wife and a
woman who
has no husband) and (also marry) the saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones)
of your (male)
slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will
enrich them out of His
Bounty. And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His creatures' needs, All-Knowing
(about the state
of the people)." [al-Noor 24:32 - interpretation of the meaning].
The head of the household must select a righteous and suitable wife based on
the following
conditions described in various ahaadeeth:
"A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty
or
her religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with
dust [i.e., may you prosper]!" (Agreed upon).
"This world is all temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this life
is a
righteous wife." (Reported by Muslim, 1468).
"Let every one of you have a thankful heart, a remembering tongue
[remembering Allaah] and a believing wife who will help him with regard to
the
Hereafter." (Reported by Ahmad, 5/282, and al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Maajah from
Thawbaan.
Saheeh al-Jaami', 5231).
According to another report: "A righteous wife to help you with your worldly
and
religious affairs is the best treasure anyone could have." (Reported by
al-Bayhaqi.
Saheeh al-Jaami', 4285).
"Marry one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud before the other
Prophets of your great numbers on the Day of Resurrection." (Reported by
Ahmad.
Saheeh al-Irwa', 6/195).
"I advise you to marry virgins, for their wombs are more fresh, their mouths
are
more sweet and they are more content with little." According to another
report:
"... and they are less likely to deceive." (Reported by Ibn Maajah.
Al-Silsilah al-
Saheeh, 623).
Just as a righteous wife is one of the four elements of happiness, so a bad
wife is one of the
four elements of misery, as it says in the saheeh hadeeth: "One of (the
elements of)
happiness is a righteous wife, who when you see her you feel pleased, and
when you are
away, you feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your
property. And one of
(the elements of) misery is a bad wife who when you see her, you feel upset,
she keeps
attacking you verbally, and when you are away, you do not feel that you can
trust her with
regard to herself and your property."
On the other hand, it is also essential to look at the situation of the
prospective husband who
is proposing marriage to the Muslim woman, and to agree to his proposal in
accordance with
the following conditions:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If there
comes to you one
with whose religion and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter
[or sister, etc.]
to him, otherwise there will be fitnah and great corruption in the land."
All of the above must be achieved through asking the right questions,
verifying facts,
gathering information and checking sources, so that the home will not be
corrupted or
destroyed.
The righteous man and righteous woman together will build a righteous home,
because "the
vegetation of a good land comes forth (easily) by the Permission of its
Lord, and that which
is bad, brings forth nothing but a little with difficulty..." [al-A'raaf
7:58 - interpretation of
the meaning].
Striving to guide one's wife
If one's wife is righteous, this is a blessing indeed, and this is from the
Bounty of Allaah. If
she is not that righteous, then it is the duty of the head of the household
to strive to guide
her. Any of the following scenarios may apply:
A man may marry a woman who is not religious in the first place, because he
himself is not
religious at first, or he may have married her in the hope of guiding her,
or under pressure
from his relatives, for example. In these cases he must strive hard to guide
her.
A man must also realize from the outset that guidance comes from Allaah, and
that Allaah is
the One Who reforms people. One of His blessings to his slave Zakariya was,
as He said
(interpretation of the meaning): "... and [We] cured his wife for him..."
[al-Anbiya' 21:90].
This curing or reforming may have been physical or religious. Ibn 'Abbaas
said: "She was
barren and could not have children, then she had a child." 'Ataa' said: "She
was harsh of
tongue, and Allaah reformed her."
There are various means of guiding or reforming one's wife, such as:
Paying attention to correcting her worship of Allaah in all its aspects,
as will be discussed in detail below.
Striving to strengthen her eemaan, such as:
encouraging her to pray at night (qiyaam al-layl)
encouraging her to read Qur'aan
encouraging her to memorize adhkaar and remember the appropriate
times and occasions for saying them
encouraging her to give charity
encouraging her to read useful Islamic books
encouraging her to listen to useful Islamic cassettes that can increase
knowledge and strengthen eemaan - and continuing to supply her with
them.
choosing good, religious friends for her, with whom she can form ties
of sisterhood and have good conversations and purposeful visits.
protecting her from evil and blocking off all avenues for it to reach
her, by keeping her away from bad companions and bad places.
[ Table of Contents ]
Creating an atmosphere of faith in the home
Making the home a place for the remembrance of Allaah
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The likeness
of a house in
which Allaah is remembered and the house in which Allaah is not remembered
is that of the
living and the dead, respectively."
We must make our homes places where Allaah is remembered in all kinds of
ways, whether
in our hearts, verbally, during prayer, by reading Qur'aan, by discussing
Islamic issues, or
by reading different kinds of Islamic books.
How many Muslim homes nowadays are dead because there is no remembrance of
Allaah,
as mentioned in the hadeeth. What must they be like when all that is heard
therein is the
music of Shaytaan with instruments and singing, and backbiting, slander and
gossip?
What must they be like when they are filled with evil and sin, such as the
haraam mixing of
the sexes and wanton display between relatives who are not mahram or with
neighbours who
enter the home?
How can the angels enter a home like this? Revive your homes with all kinds
of dhikr, may
Allaah have mercy on you!
Make your homes a qiblah
What is meant is taking the home as a place of worship.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "And We inspired Moosa and his
brother
(saying): 'Take dwellings for your people in Egypt, and make your dwellings
as places for
your worship, and perform al-salaah, and give glad tidings to the
believers.'" [Yoonus
10:87].
Ibn 'Abbaas said: "They were commanded to take their dwellings as places of
prayer [lit.
mosques]."
Ibn Katheer said: "This - and Allaah knows best - was because of the
intensity of the
tribulation that they were facing from Pharaoh and his people. They were
commanded to
pray much, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 'O you who
believe! Seek help
with patience and prayer...' [al-Baqarah 2:153], and as it was reported in
the hadeeth that
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), when he
was
distressed by something, would pray."
This explains the importance of worshipping at home, especially at times
when the Muslims
are in a position of weakness, as happens in some places where the Muslims
cannot pray
openly in front of the kuffaar. In this context we may think of the mihraab
of Maryam,
which was her place of worship, as Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning): "... Every
time Zakariya entered the mihraab to visit her, he found her supplied with
sustenance..." [Aal 'Imraan 3:37]
The Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) used to be keen to pray at
home - apart
from the fard or obligatory prayers (which they prayed in congregation in
the mosque) - and
there is a moving story concerning this. Mahmood ibn al-Rabee' al-Ansaari
reported that
'Utbaan ibn Maalik - who was one of the Companions of the Messenger (peace
and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) and was one of the Ansaar who had been
present at Badr -
came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
and said: "I
am losing my sight, and I lead my people in prayer. When it rains, the
valley between me
and them gets flooded and I cannot get to their mosque to lead them in
prayer. O Messenger
of Allaah, I would like you to come to come and pray in my house so that I
can take it as a
place for prayer." The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him)
said, "I will do that, in sha Allaah." 'Utbaan said: "The next day the
Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and Abu Bakr came in the
morning. The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked for
permission to
enter, and I gave him permission. He did not sit down until he entered the
house, then he
said, 'Where would you like me to pray in your house?' I showed him a corner
of the house,
then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
stood up, said
Takbeer, and we stood in a row behind him, and he prayed two rak'ahs and
gave the salaam
at the end of the prayer." (Reported by al -Bukhaari, al-Fath, 1/519)
Spiritual training for the members of the household
'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: "The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray qiyaam at night, and when he
prayed witr he
would say, 'Get up and pray witr, O 'Aa'ishah'" (Reported by Muslim, Muslim
bi Sharh al-
Nawawi, 6/23).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "May Allaah
have mercy on
a man who gets up at night and prays, then he wakes up his wife to pray, and
if she refuses
he throws water in her face." (Reported by Ahmad and Abu Dawood. Saheeh
al-Jaami', 3488).
Encouraging the women of one's household to give charity is another means of
increasing
faith. This is something very important which the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be
upon him) encouraged, when he said, "O women! Give in charity, for I have
seen that you
form the majority of the inhabitants of Hell." (Reported by al-Bukhaari,
al-Fath, 1/405).
One of the new ideas is to have a box at home for donations to the poor and
needy: whatever is put in the box belongs to them, because it is their
vessel in the
Muslim home.
If the family members see an example among them fasting on al-Ayyaam al-Beed
(the 13th, 14th and 15th of each Hijri month), Mondays and Thursdays,
Taasoo'aa' and 'Aashooraa' (the 9th and 10th of Muharram), 'Arafaah, and
frequently in Muharram and Sha'baan, this will be a motive for them to do
likewise.
Paying attention to adhkaar and Sunnah du'aa's that have to do with
the home
Adkhaar for entering the home:
Muslim reported in his Saheeh that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said: "When any one of you enters his home and mentions the
Name of Allaah
when he enters and when he eats, the Shaytaan says: 'You have no place to
stay and nothing
to eat here.' If he enters and does not mention the name of Allaah when he
enters, [the
Shaytaan] says, 'You have a place to stay.' If he does not mention the name
of Allaah when
he eats, [the Shaytaan says], 'You have a place to stay and something to
eat.'" (Reported by
Imaam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 3/346; Muslim, 3/1599).
Abu Dawood reported in his Sunan that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "If a man goes out of his house and says,
'Bismillaah, tawakkaltu
'ala Allaah, laa hawla wa laa quwwata illaa Billaah (In the name of Allaah,
I put my trust
in Allaah, there is no help and no strength except in Allaah),' it will be
said to him, 'This
will take care of you, you are guided, you have what you need and you are
protected.' The
Shaytaan will stay away from him, and another shaytaan will say to him,
'What can you do
with a man who is guided, provided for and protected?'" (Reported by Abu
Dawood and al-
Tirmidhi. Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 499)
Siwaak
Imaam Muslim reported in his Saheeh that 'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased
with her) said:
"When the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
entered his
house, the first thing he would do was use siwaak." (Reported by Muslim,
Kitaab al -Tahaarah,
chapter 15, no. 44).
Continuously reciting Soorat al-Baqarah in the house to ward off the
Shaytaan
There are a number of ahaadeeth concerning this, such as:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Do not make
your houses into graves. The Shaytaan flees from a house in which Soorat
al-Baqarah is
recited." (Reported by Muslim, 1/539)
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Recite Soorat
al-Baqarah in your houses, for the Shaytaan does not enter a house in which
Soorat al-
Baqarah is recited." (Reported by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak. 1/561; Saheeh
al-Jaami', 1170).
Concerning the virtues of the last two aayaat of this soorah, and the effect
of reciting them in
one's house, he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Allaah
wrote a document
two thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth, which is
kept near the
Throne, and He revealed two aayaat of it with which He concluded Soorat
al-Baqarah. If
they are recited in a house for three consecutive nights, the Shaytaan will
not approach
it." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 4/274, and others. Saheeh
al-Jaami', 1799).
[ Table of Contents ]
Islamic Knowledge in the home
Teaching the family
This is an obligation which the head of the household must undertake, in
obedience to the
command of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): "O you who believe! Ward
off from
yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones..."
[al-Tahreem
66:6]. This aayah is the basic principle regarding the teaching and
upbringing of one's
family, and enjoining them to do what is good and forbidding them to do what
is evil. There
follow some of the comments of the mufassireen on this aayah, in so far as
it pertains to the
duties of the head of the household.
Qutaadah said: "He should command them to obey Allaah, and forbid them to
disobey Him,
and direct them in accordance with the commands of Allaah, and help them to
do that."
Dahhaak and Muqaatil said: "It is the Muslim's duty to teach his family,
including relatives
and female slaves, what Allaah has enjoined upon them and what He has
forbidden."
'Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "Teach them and discipline
them."
Al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "We must teach our children
and wives the
religion and goodness, and whatever they need of good manners. If the
Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to urge the teaching of
female servants,
who were slaves, what do you think about your children and wives, who are
free?"
Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Saheeh: "Chapter: a
man's
teaching his female slaves and wife." Then he quoted the hadeeth of the
Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him): "There are three who will have two
rewards: ... a man
who has a female slave whom he teaches good manners and teaches her well,
and teaches
her knowledge, and teaches her well, then he frees her and marries her: he
will have two
rewards."
Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth:
"The chapter
heading refers specifically to female slaves, and to wives by analogy, i.e.,
teaching one's
free wife about her duties towards Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger is
more clearly
essential than teaching one's female slaves."
In the midst of all a man's activities, work and other commitments, he may
forget to allow
himself time for teaching his wife. One solution to this is to allocate some
time for the
family, and even for others such as relatives, to hold a study-circle at
home. He can let
everyone know the time and encourage them to come regularly, so that it will
be an ongoing
commitment for him and for them. Something similar happened at the time of
the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "Chapter: can the women be
given a day
exclusively for them to seek knowledge"? and quoted the hadeeth of Abu
Sa'eed al-Khudri
(may Allaah be pleased with him): "The women said to the Prophet (peace and
blessings of
Allaah be upon him): 'The men always crowd us out and we cannot reach you,
so set aside a
day for us when we can come to you.' So he set aside a day when he would
meet them and
teach them."
Ibn Hajar said: "A similar report was narrated by Sahl ibn Abi Saalih from
Abu Hurayrah,
according to which [the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)]
said: 'Your
appointment is in the house of so and so,' and he came to them and spoke to
them. '"
What we learn from this is that women should be taught in their houses, and
we see how
keen the women of the Sahaabah were to learn. Directing teaching efforts to
men alone, and
not to women, is a serious shortcoming on the part of dai'yahs and heads of
households.
Some readers may ask, suppose we set aside a day, and tell our families
about it - what
should we study in these gatherings? Where do we begin?
I suggest that you begin with a simple program to teach your family in
general, and the
women in particular, using the following books:
The tafseer of al-'Allaamah Ibn Sa'di, entitled Tayseer al-Kareem al-Rahmaan
fi
Tafseer Kalaam al-Mannaan, which is published in seven volumes and is
written
in an easy style; you can read it or teach somes soorahs and passages from
it.
Riyaadh al-Saaliheen - you coul discuss the ahaadeeth quoted, along with the
footnotes and the lessons learned from them. You could also refer to the
book
Nuzhat al-Muttaqeen.
Hasan al-Uswah bimaa thubita 'an Allaahi wa Rasoolihi fi'l-Nuswah, by al-
'Allaamah Siddeeq Hasan Khaan.
It is also important to teach women some of the ahkaam of fiqh, such as the
rulings on
tahaarah (purity) and menstrual and post-partum bleeding, salaah, zakaah,
siyaam (fasting)
and hajj, if she is able to go; some of the rulings on food and drink,
clothing and adornment,
the sunan al-fitrah, rulings on mahaarim (who is a mahram relative and who
is not), rulings
on singing and photography, and so on. Among the important sources of such
information
are the fatwas (rulings or edicts) of the scholars, such as the collections
of fatwas by Shaykh
'Abd al-'Azeez ibn Baaz and Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-'Uthaymeen, and
other
scholars, whether they are written fatwas or fatwas recorded on tapes.
Another matter that may be included in a syllabus for teaching women and
family members
is reminding them of lessons or public lectures given by trustworthy
scholars and seekers of
knowledge which they can attend, so they can have a variety of excellent
sources for
learning. We should not forget either the radio programs of Idhaa'at
al-Qur'aan al-Kareem;
another means of teaching is reminding family members of the particular days
when women
can attend Islamic bookstores, and taking them there, within the guidelines
of sharee'ah [i.e.,
proper hijaab, etc.]
Start building an Islamic "library" in your home
Another thing that will help in teaching your family and letting them
develop a
understanding of their religion and help them adhere to its rules, is having
one's own Islamic
library at home. It does not have to be extensive; what matters is choosing
good books,
putting them in a place where they are readily accessible, and encouraging
family members
to read them.
You could put books in a clean and tidy corner of the living room, and in a
suitable place in
a bedroom or guest room; this will make it easy for any member of the family
to read
constantly.
In order to build a library properly - and Allaah loves things to be done
properly - you
should include references so that family members can research various
matters and children
can use them for their studies. You should also include books of varying
levels, so that old
and young, men and women can all use them. You should also have books for
giving to
guests, children's friends and family visitors, but try to get books that
are attractively
presented, edited properly and with the sources and classification of the
ahaadeeth properly
given. You can make the most of Islamic bookstores and exhibitions to build
a home library,
after consulting and seeking advice from those who have experience in the
field of books.
One way in which you can help family members to find a book when they want
it is to
organize the books according to subject, with books of Tafseer on one shelf,
books of
hadeeth on another, fiqh on a third, and so on. One of the family members
could also
compile alphabetical or subject indexes of the library, to make it easier to
look for books.
Many of those who want to start a home library may ask for titles of Islamic
books. Here are
a few suggestions:
Tafseer:
Tafseer Ibn Katheer
Tafseer Ibn Sa'di
Zubdat al-Tafseer by al-Ashkar
Badaa'i' al-Tafseer by Ibn al-Qayyim
Usool al-Tafseer by Ibn 'Uthaymeen
Lamahaat fi 'Uloom al-Qur'aan by Muhammad al-Sabbaagh
Hadeeth
Saheeh al-Kalim al-Tayyib
'Aml al-Muslim fi'l-Yawm wa'l-Laylah (or: Al-Saheeh al-Musnad min Adhkaar
al-Yawm wa'l-Laylah)
Riyaadh al-Saaliheen and its commentary Nuzhat al-Muttaqeen
Mukhtasar Saheeh al-Bukhaari by al-Zubaydi
Mukhtasar Saheeh Muslim by al-Mundhiri and al-Albaani
Saheeh al-Jaami' al-Sagheer
Da'eef al-Jaami' al-Sagheer
Saheeh al-Targheeb wa'l-Tarheeb
Al-Sunnah wa Makaanatuhaa fi'l-Tashree'
Qawaa'id wa fawaa'id min al-Arba'een al-Nawawiyyah by Naazim Sultaan
'Aqeedah
Fath al-Majeed Sharh Kitaab al-Tawheed (edited by al-Arnaa'oot)
A'laam al-Sunnah al-Manshoorah by al-Hakami (ed.)
Sharh al-'Aqeedah al-Tahhaawiyyah, edited by al-Albaani
The series on 'Aqeedah by Umar Sulaymaan al-Ashqar in 8 parts
Ashraat al-Saa'ah by Dr. Yoosuf al-Waabil
Fiqh
Manaar al-Sabeel by Ibn Duwiyyaan
Irwa' al-Ghaleel by al-Albaani
Zaad al-Ma'aad
al-Mughni by Ibn Qudaamah
Fiqh al-Sunnah [also available in English translation]
Al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi by Saalih al-Fawzaan
Collections of fatwas by different scholars ('Abd al-'Azeez ibn Baaz,
Muhammad Saalih al-'Uthaymeen, 'Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen)
Sifat Salaah al-Nabi (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) by Shaykh
al-
Albaani and Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez ibn Baaz [available in English under the
title
The Prophet's Prayer Described]
Mukhtasar Ahkaam al-Janaa'iz by al-Albaani
Good manners and purification of the soul:
Tahdheeb Madaarij al-Saalikeen
Al-Fawaa'id
Al-Jawaab al-Kaafi
Tareeq al-Hijratayn wa Baab al-Sa'aadatayn
Al-Waabil al-Sayib
Raafi' al-Kalim al-Tayyib by Ibn al-Qayyim
Lataa'if al-Ma'aarif by Ibn Rajab
Tahdheeb Maw'izat al-Mu'mineen
Ghadhaa' al-Albaab
Seerah and biographies
Al-Bidaayah wa'l-Nihaayah by Ibn Katheer
Mukhtasar al-Shamaa'il al-Muhammadiyyah by al-Tirmidhi, abridged by al-
Albaani
Al-Raheeq al-Makhtoom by al-Mubaarakpoori [available in English translation]
Al-'Awaasim min al-Qawaasim by Ibn al-'Arabi, ed. by al-Khateeb and al-
Istanbooli
Al-Mujtama' al-Madani (2 vols.) by Shaykh Akram al-'Umari [available in
English under the title Madinan Society at the Time of the Prophet (peace
and
blessings of Allaah be upon him)]
Siyar A'lam al-Nubala'
Minhaj Kitaabat al-Taareekh al-Islaami by Muhammad ibn Saamil al-Salami
There are many other good books on various topics, such as those by:
Shaykh Muhammad ibn 'Abd al-Wahhaab
Shaykh 'Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Naasir al-Sa'di
Shaykh 'Umar Sulaymaan ibn Ashqar
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ahmad ibn Ismaa'eel al-Muqaddim
Prof. Muhammad Muhammad Husayn
Shaykh Muhammad Jameel Zayno
Prof. Husayn al-'Awayishah's books on al-Raqaa'iq (topics to soften the
heart
and strengthen eemaan)
Al-Eemaan by Muhammad Na'eem Yaaseen
Al-Walaa' wa'l-Baraa' by Shaykh Muhammad Sa'eed al-Qahtaani [available in
English translation]
Al-Inhiraafaat al-'Aqdiyyah fi'l-Qarnayn al-Thaani 'Ashara wa'l-Thaalith
'Ashara by 'Ali ibn Bukhayt al-Zahraani
Al-Muslimoon wa Zaahirat al-Hazeemah al-Nafsiyyah by 'Abd-Allaah al-
Shabaanah
Al-Mar'ah bayn al-Fiqh wa'l-Qaanoon by Mustafa al-Sibaa'i
Al-Usrah al-Muslimah amaam al-video wa'l-tilifiziyon by Marwaan Kijik
Al-Mar'ah al-Muslimah I'daadaatuhaa wa mas'ooliyaatuhaa by Ahmad Abu
Bateen
Mas'ooliyat al-Abb al-Muslim fi Tarbiyat Waladihi by 'Adnaan Baahaarith
Hijaab al-Muslimah by Ahmad al-Baaraazi
Wa Jaa'a Dawr al-Maajoos by 'Abd-Allaah Muhammad al-Ghareeb
Books by Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd
Abhaath al-Shaykh Mashoor Hasan Salmaan
There are many other useful, good books - what we have mentioned is only by
way of
example, and is by no means a complete list. There are also many useful
pamphlets and
booklets, but it would take too long to list everything. The Muslim should
consult others and
think hard. Whomever Allaah wishes good for, He helps him to understand His
religion.
Home audio library
Having a cassette player in every home may be used for good or for evil. How
can we use it
in a manner that is pleasing to Allaah?
One of the ways in which we can achieve this is to have a home audio library
containing
good Islamic tapes by scholars, fuqaha', lecturers, khateebs and preachers.
Listening to tapes of Qur'aan recitation by some Imaams, for example those
recorded during
Taraaweeh prayers, will have a great impact on family members, whether by
impressing
upon them the meanings of the Revelation, or by helping them to memorize
Qur'aan
because of repeated listening. It will also protect them by letting them
hear Qur'aanic
recitation rather than the music and singing of the Shaytaan, because it is
not right for the
words of al-Rahmaan (Allaah) to be mixed with the music of the Shaytaan in
the heart of the
believer.
Tapes of fatwas may have a great effect on family members and help them to
understand
various rulings, which will have an impact on their daily lives. We suggest
listening to tapes
of fatwas given by scholars such as Shaykh 'Abd al-'Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh
Muhammad
Naasir al-Deen al-Albaani, Shaykh Muhammad al-'Uthaymeen, Shaykh Saalih
al-Fawzaan,
and other trustworthy scholars.
Muslims must also pay attention to the sources from which they take fatwas,
because this is
the matter of religion, so look to where you take your religion from. You
should take it from
someone who is known to be righteous and pious, who bases his fatwas on
sound ahaadeeth,
who is not fanatical in his adherence to a madhhab, who follows sound
evidence and adheres
to a middle path without being either extreme or too lenient. Ask an expert.
"... Allaah,
Most Gracious: ask, then about Him of any acquainted (with such things)."
[al-Furqaan
25:59 - interpretation of the meaning - Yusuf Ali's translation].
Listening to lectures by those who are striving to raise the awareness of
the ummah,
establish proof and denounce evil, is very important for establishing
individual personalities
in the Muslim home.
There are many tapes and lectures, and the Muslim needs to know the features
of the sound
methodology so as to distinguish sound lecturers from others and look for
their tapes, which
they can listen to with confidence. Among these features are:
The lecturer should be a believer in the 'aqeedah of the Saved Group, Ahl
al-
Sunnah wa'l-Jamaa'ah, adhering to the Sunnah and firmly rejecting bid'ah.
The
speaker should be moderate, neither extremist nor lenient.
He should base his talks on sound ahaadeeth, and beware of weak and
fabricated
ahaadeeth.
He should have insight into people's situations and the realities of the
ummah,
and should offer the appropriate remedy for any problem, giving the people
what
they need.
He should speak the truth as much as he can, and not utter falsehood or
please the
people by angering Allaah.
We often find that tapes for children have a great influence on them,
whether by helping
them to memorize Qur'aan by listening to a young reader, or du'aa's to be
recited at various
times of day and night, or Islamic manners, or nasheeds (religious "songs"
with no
instrumental accompaniment) with a useful message, and so on.
Putting tapes in drawers in an organized fashion will make it easier to find
them, and will
also protect them from getting damaged or from being played with by young
children. We
should distribute good tapes by giving or lending them to others after
listening to them.
Having a recorder in the kitchen will be very useful for the lady of the
house, and having a
recorder in the bedroom will help a person make good use of time until the
last moments of
the day.
Inviting good and righteous people and seekers of knowledge to visit
the home.
"My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a
believer, and all
the believing men and women..." [Nooh 71:28 - interpretation of the
meaning].
If people of faith enter your home, it will increase in light (noor), and
will bring many
benefits because of your conversations and discussion with them. The bearer
of musk will
either give you some, or you will buy from him, or you will find that he has
a pleasant scent.
When children, brothers and parents sit with such visitors, and women listen
from behind a
curtain or screen to what is said, this offers an educational experience to
all. If you bring
good people into your home, by doing so you keep bad people from coming in a
wreaking
havoc.
Learning the Islamic rulings with regard to houses.
These include:
Praying in the house
With regard to men, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "The best
of prayer is a man's prayer in his house - apart from the prescribed
prayers." (Reported by al-
Bukhaari, al-Fath, no. 731).
It is obligatory to pray (the five daily prayers) in the mosque, except if
there is a valid
excuse. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
also said: "A
man's voluntary prayers in his house will bring more reward than his
voluntary prayers at
other people's places, just as his obligatory prayers with the people are
better than his
obligatory prayers alone." (Reported by Ibn Abi Shaybah. Saheeh al-Jaami',
2953).
With regard to women, the deeper inside her home her place of prayer is, the
better, because
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The best
prayer for women
is [that offered] in the furthest part of their houses." (Reported by
al-Tabaraani. Saheeh al-Jaami',
3311).
A man should not be led in prayer in his own home, and no one should sit in
the
place where the master of the house usually sits, except with his
permission. The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A man
should not be led in prayer in his place of authority, and no one should sit
in his
place in his house, except with his permission." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi,
no. 2772).
I.e., no one should go forward to lead him in prayer, even if they recite
Qur'aan
better than he does, in a place that he owns or where he has authority, such
as a
householder in his home, or an imaam in a mosque. Similarly, it is not
permitted
to sit in the private spot of the head of the master of the house, such as a
bed or
mattress, etc., except with his permission.
Seeking permission to enter.
"O you who believe! Enter not houses other than your own, until you have
asked permission
and greeted those in them, that is better for you, in order that you may
remember. And if you
find no one therein, still, enter not until permission has been given. And
if you are asked to
go back, go back, for it is purer for you. And Allaah is All-Knower of what
you do." [al-
Noor 24:27-28 - interpretation of the meaning].
"... so enter houses through their proper doors..." [al-Baqarah 2:189 -
interpretation of
the meaning].
It is permissible to enter houses that are empty if one has some legitimate
business there, such as a house prepared for guests. "There is no sin on you
that
you enter (without taking permission) houses uninhabited (i.e., not
possessed by
anybody), (when) you have any interest in them. And Allaah has knowledge of
what you reveal and what you conceal." [al-Noor 24:29 - interpretation of
the
meaning].
Not feeling too shy to eat in the houses of friends and relatives, and in
houses of
friends and relatives and others to which one has the keys, if they have no
objection to that. "There is no restriction on the blind, nor any
restriction on the
lame, nor any restriction on the sick, nor on yourselves, if you eat from
your
houses, or the houses of your fathers, or the houses of your mothers, or the
houses of your brothers, or the houses of your sisters, or the houses of
your
father's brothers, or the houses of your father's sisters, or the houses of
your
mother's brothers, or the houses of your mother's sisters, or (from that)
whereof
you hold keys, or (from the house) of a friend. No sin on you whether you
eat
together or apart..." [al-Noor 24:61].
Telling children and servants not to barge in to the parents' bedroom
without
permission at the times when people usually sleep, i.e., before Fajr, at
siesta time
and after 'Isha', lest they see something inappropriate. If they see
something
accidentally at other times, this is forgivable, because they are tawwaafeen
(those
who go about in the house) and it is difficult to stop them. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): "O you who believe! Let your legal slaves
and
slave-girls, and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask
your permission (before they come to your presence) on three occasions:
before
Fajr prayer, and while you put off your clothes for the noonday (rest), and
after
the 'Isha prayer. (These) three times are of privacy for you; other than
these
times there is no sin on you or on them to move about, - attending (helping)
you
each other. Thus Allaah makes clear the aayaat (verses of this Qur'aan,
showing
proofs for the legal aspects of permission for visits, etc.) to you. And
Allaah is
All-Knowing, All-Wise." [al-Noor 24:57].
It is forbidden to look into the houses of other people without their
permission.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Whoever looks into someone's house without their permission, put his eyes
out,
and there is no diyah or qisaas [blood money or retaliation] in this
case." (Reported by Ahmad, al-Musnad, 2/385; Saheeh al-Jaami, 6046).
A woman who has been divorced by talaaq for a first or second time [and
could
still go back to her husband] should not leave or be made to leave her home
during the 'iddah, and she should still be supported financially. Allaah
says
(interpretation of the meaning): "O Prophet! When you divorce women, divorce
them at their 'iddah (prescribed periods), and count (accurately) their
'iddah
(periods). And fear Allaah your Lord (O Muslims), and turn them not out of
their
(husband's) homes, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they
are
guilty of some open illegal sexual intercourse. And those are the set limits
of
Allaah. And whoever transgresses the set limits of Allaah, then indeed he
has
wronged himself. You (the one who divorces his wife) know not, it may be
that
Allaah will afterward bring some new thing to pass (i.e., to return her back
to
you, if this as the first or second divorce)." [al-Talaaq 65:1]
It is permissible for a man to forsake his rebellious wife inside or outside
the
home, according to the interests prescribed by sharee'ah in any given case.
The
evidence for forsaking her inside the home is the aayah (interpretation of
the
meaning): "... refuse to share their beds..." [al-Nisa' 4:34]. With regard
to
forsaking women outside the home, this is what happened when the Messenger
of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forsook his wives,
leaving
them in their apartments and staying in a room outside the houses of his
wives.
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Talaaq, Baab fi'l-Eelaa').
One should not stay alone overnight in the house. Ibn 'Umar (may Allaah be
pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be
upon him) forbade being alone and said that a man should not stay overnight
alone or travel alone. (Reported by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 2/91). This is
because of the
feelings of loneliness etc., that come from being alone, and also because of
the
possibility of attacks by enemies or robbers, or the possibility of
sickness. If one
has a companion, he can help fight off attacks, and can help if one gets
sick. (See
al-Fath al-Rabbaani, 5/64).
Not sleeping on the roof of a house that has no protecting wall, lest one
fall. The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Whoever sleeps on the roof of a house that has no protecting wall, nobody
is
responsible for what happens to him." (Reported by Abu Dawood, al-Sunan, no.
5041;
Saheeh al-Jaami, 6113; its commentary is in 'Awn al-Ma'bood, 13/384). This
is because
one who is asleep may roll over in his sleep, and if there is no wall he may
fall
off the roof and be killed. In such a case, nobody would be to blame for his
death;
or his negligence would cause Allaah to lift His protection from him,
because he
did not take the necessary precautions. The hadeeth may mean either.
Pet cats do not make vessels naajis (impure) if they drink from them, or
make
food naajis if they eat from it. 'Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Qutaadah reported from
his
father that water was put out for him to make wudoo', and a cat came and
lapped
at the water. He took the water and did wudoo' with it, and they said, "O
Abu
Qutaadah! The cat drank from it." He said, I heard the Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: 'Cats are part of the
household,
and they are among those who go around in your houses.'" (Reported by Ahmad
in
al-Musnad, 5/309; Saheeh al-Jaami', 3694). According to another report he
said:
"They [cats] are not naajis; they are among those who go around
[al-tawwaafeen
wa'l-tawwaafaat - refers to children, servants, etc.] in your houses. "
(Reported by
Ahmad in al-Musnad, 5/309; Saheeh al-Jaami', 2437).
[ Table of Contents ]
Knowing the advantages of khushoo' in salaah
These include:
- The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There is no
Muslim man
who, when the time for a prescribed prayer comes, he does wudoo' properly,
has the proper
attitude of khushoo', and bows properly, but it will be an expiation for all
his previous sins,
so long as they were not major sins (kabeerah). And this is the case for
life" (Reported by
Muslim, 1/206, no. 7/4/2)
- The reward recorded is in proportion to the degree of khushoo', as the
Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A slave may pray and have nothing
recorded for it
except a tenth of it, or a ninth, or an eighth, or a seventh, or a sixth, or
a fifth, or a quarter, or
a third, or a half." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad; Saheeh al-Jaami', 1626).
- Only the parts of his prayer where he focused and concentrated properly
will be of any
avail to him. It was reported that Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with
him) said: "You
will only have from your prayer that which you focused on."
Sins will be forgiven if you concentrate properly and have full khushoo', as
the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When a slave stands and
prays, all his
sins are brought and placed on his head and shoulders. Every time he bows or
prostrates,
some of them fall from him." (Reported by al-Bayhaqi in al-Sunan al-Kubraa,
3/10; see also Saheeh
al-Jaami'). Al-Manaawi said: "What is meant is that every time a pillar
(essential part) of the
prayer is completed, part of his sins fall from him, until when he finishes
his prayer, all his
sins will be removed. This is in a prayer where all the conditions are met
and the essential
parts are complete. What we understand from the words "slave" and "stands"
is that he is
standing before the King of Kings [Allaah] in the position of a humble
slave." (Reported by
al-Bayhaqi in al-Sunan al-Kubraa, 3/10; see also Saheeh al-Jaami').
- The one who prays with khushoo' will feel lighter when he finishes his
prayer, as if his
burdens have been lifted from him. He will feel at ease and refreshed, so
that he will wish he
had not stopped praying, because it is such a source of joy and comfort for
him in this world.
He will keep feeling that he is in a constricting prison until he starts to
pray again; he will
find comfort in prayer instead of wanting just to get it over and done with.
Those who love
prayer say: we pray and find comfort in our prayer, just as their leader,
example and Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, "O Bilaal, let us find
comfort in prayer."
He did not say "Let us get it over and done with."
- The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, "My joy has
been made in
prayer." So whoever finds his joy in prayer, how can he bear to look for joy
anywhere else,
or to keep away from it?
(Al-Waabil al-Sayib, 37).
Striving to offer du'aa' at the appropriate times during the prayer,
especially in
sujood
There is no doubt that talking to Allaah, humbling oneself before Him,
asking things from
Him and earnestly seeking His help, all help to strengthen the slave's ties
to his Lord and
increase his khushoo'. Du'aa' is an act of worship, and we are commanded to
make du'aa'.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "... call upon Him in humility
and in
secret..." [al-An'aam 6:63]. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said:
"Whoever does not call on Allaah, Allaah will be angry with him." (Reported
by al-Tirmidhi,
Kitaab al-Da'waat, 1/426; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2686).
It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
used to make
du'aa' at specific places in the prayer, i.e., in sujood, between the two
prostrations and after
the Tashahhud. The greatest of these is in sujood, because the Prophet
(peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) said, "The closest that the slave can be to his Lord
is when he is
prostrating, so increase your du'aa' [at that time]." (Reported by Muslim,
Kitaab al-Salaah, Baab
maa yuqaalu fi'l-rukoo' wa'l-sujood. No. 215). And he said: "... As for
sujood, strive hard to
make du'aa' in it, for it is bound to be answered for you." (Reported by
Muslim, Kitaab al -
Salaah, Baab al-Nahy 'an qiraa'at al-Qur'aan fi'l rukoo' wa'l-sujood, no.
207).
One of the du'aa's which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) used to
recite in his sujood was: "Allaahumma'ghfir li dhanbi diqqahu wa jillahu wa
awwalahu wa
aakhirahu wa 'alaaniyatahu wa sirrahu (O Allaah, forgive me my sins, the
minor and the
major, the first and the last, the open and the hidden)." (Reported by
Muslim, Kitaab al-Salaah,
Baab ma yuqaalu fi'l-rukoo' wa'l-sujood, no. 216). He also used to say,
"Allaahumma'ghfir li
maa asrartu wa maa a'lantu (O Allaah, forgive me what I have done in secret
and done
openly)." (Reported by al-Nisaa'i, al-Mujtabaa, 2/569; Saheeh al-Jaami',
1067).
We have already described some of the du'aa's that he used to recite between
the two
sajdahs. (See section 11).
One of the things that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used
to recite after the
Tashahhud is what we learn from the hadeeth: "When any one of you finishes
the
Tashahhud, let him seek refuge with Allaah from four things, from the
punishment of Hell,
from the punishment of the grave, from the trials (fitnah) of life and
death, and from the evil
of the Dajjal ( 'Antichrist')." He used to say,
"Allaahumma innee a'oodhu bika min sharri maa 'amiltu wa min sharri maa lam
a'mal (O
Allaah, I seek refuge with You from the evil of what I have done and the
evil of what I have
not done)."
"Allaahumma haasibni hisaaban yaseeran (O Allaah, make my accounting easy)."
He taught Abu Bakr al-Siddeeq (may Allaah be pleased with him) to say,
"Allaahumma
innee zalamtu nafsi zulman katheeran, wa la yaghfir al-dhunooba illa anta,
faghfir li
maghfiratan min 'indaka warhamni innaka anta al-Ghafoor al-Raheem (O Allaah,
I have
wronged myself very much, and no one can forgive sin but You. Grant me
forgiveness from
You and have mercy on me, for You are the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful)."
He heard a man saying in his Tashahhud: "Allaahumma inne as'aluka yaa Allaah
al-Ahad
al-Samad alladhi lam yalid wa lam yoolad wa lam yakum lahu kufuwan ahad an
taghfir li
dhunoobi innaka anta'l-Ghafoor al-Raheem (O Allaah, I ask You O Allaah, the
One, the
Self-Sufficient Master, Who begets not neither is begotten, and there is
none like unto Him,
to forgive me my sins, for You are the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful)." He
(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to his companions: "He has been
forgiven, he has
been forgiven."
He heard another man saying, "Allaahumma innee as'aluka bi-anna laka'l-hamd,
laa ilaaha
ill anta wahdaka laa shareeka lak al-Mannaan yaa badee' al-samawaati
wa'l-ard, yaa
dhaa'l-jalaali wa'l-ikraam, ya hayyu yaa qayyoom, innee as'aluka al-jannah
wa a'oodhu
bika min al-naar (O Allaah, I ask You as all praise is due to You, there is
no god but You
Alone, with no partner or associate, the Bestower, O Originator of the
heavens and earth, O
Possessor of Glory and Honour, O Ever-Living, O Self-Sustaining, I ask You
for Paradise
and I seek refuge with You from Hell)." The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon
him) said to his companions: "Do you know by what did he ask Allaah?" They
said, "Allaah
and His Messenger know best." He said, "By the One in Whose hand is my soul,
he asked
Allaah by His greatest Name (ismuhu'l-a'zam) which, when He is called by it,
He responds,
and if He is asked by it, He gives."
The last thing he would say between the Tashahhud and the Tasleem was:
"Allaahumma'aghfir li maa qaddamtu wa ma akhkhartu wa maa asrartu wa maa
a'lantu wa
maa asraftu wa maa anta a'lam bihi minni anta'l-muqaddim wa
anta'l-mu'akhkhir, laa
ilaaha illa anta (O Allaah, forgive me what I have done in the past, and
what I will do in the
future, and what I have concealed, and what I have done openly, and what I
have exceeded
in, whatever You know about more than I. You are the Bringer-Forward, and
You are the
Delayer, there is no god except You)."
(These du'aa's and others, along with their isnaads, are to be found in
Sifat al-Salaah by al-'Allaamah
al-Albaani, p.163, 11th edn.)
Memorizing du'aa's like these will solve the problem that some people have
of remaining
silent behind the imaam when they have finished the Tashahhud because they
do not know
what they should say.
Adhkaar to be recited after prayer
These also help to strengthen khushoo' in the heart and reinforce the
blessings and benefits
of the prayer.
Without a doubt, one of the best ways of preserving and protecting a good
action is to follow
it up with another. So the one who thinks about the adhkaar that come after
the prayer will
find that they begin with seeking forgiveness three times, as if the
worshipper is seeking
forgiveness from his Lord for any shortcomings that may have occurred in his
prayer or his
khushoo'. It is also important to pay attention to naafil (supererogatory)
prayers, because
they make up for anything lacking in the fard (obligatory) prayers,
including any failure with
regard to khushoo'.
Having discussed things that help us to have khushoo', we now move on to a
discussion of
[ Table of Contents ]
Meetings at home
Removing anything that may distract the worshipper
Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: " 'Aa'ishah had a decorated,
colourful curtain
which she used to cover the side of her house. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said to her, 'Take it away from me, because its decorations
keep distracting
me when I pray.'" (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 10/391).
Al-Qaasim reported that 'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) had a
cloth with
decorations on it, which she used to cover a small sunken alcove (used for
sleeping or
storage). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to
pray facing it,
and he said, 'Take it away from me, because its decorations keep distracting
me when I
pray.' So she took it away and made pillows out of it." (Reported by Muslim
in his Saheeh,
3/1668).
Another indication of this is the fact that when the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be
upon him) entered the Ka'bah to pray in it, he saw two ram's horns. When he
had prayed, he
told 'Uthmaan al-Hajabi, "I forgot to tell you to cover the horns, because
there should not be
anything in the House to distract the worshipper." (Reported by Abu Dawood,
2030; Saheeh al-
Jaami', 2504).
This also includes avoiding praying in places where people pass through, or
where there is a
lot of noise and voices of people talking, or where they are engaging in
conversations,
arguments etc., or where there are visual distractions.
One should also avoid praying in places that are very hot or very cold, if
possible. The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us to delay praying
Zuhr in
summer until the hottest part of the day was over. Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah
have mercy
on him) said: "Praying when it is intensely hot prevents a person from
having the proper
khushoo' and presence of mind, and he does his worship reluctantly, so the
Prophet wisely
told them to delay praying until the heat had lessened somewhat, so that
they could pray
with presence of mind and thus achieve the purpose of prayer, i.e., having
khushoo' and
turning to Allaah." (Al-Waabil al-Sayib, Daar al-Bayaan edn., p.22)
Not praying in a garment that has decorations, writing, bright colours or
pictures
that will distract the worshipper
'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: "The Prophet (peace and
blessings of
Allaah be upon him) stood up to pray wearing a checkered shirt, and he
looked at the
patterns in it. When he had finished his prayer, he said, "Take this shirt
to Abu Jaham ibn
Hudhayfah and bring me an anbajaani (a garment with no decorations or
checks), because it
distracted me when I was praying." According to another report: "These
checks distracted
me." According to another report: "He had a checkered shirt, which used to
distract him
whilst he was praying." (Reports in Saheeh Muslim, no. 556, part 3/391).
It is better not to pray in a garment that has pictures on it, and we should
be especially
careful to avoid garments with pictures of animate beings, like many
garments that are
widely available nowadays.
Not praying when there is food prepared that one wants to eat
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Do not pray
when there is food prepared." (Reported by Muslim, no. 560).
If food has been prepared and served, or if it is offered, a person should
eat first, because he
will not be able to concentrate properly and have khushoo' if he leaves it
and gets up to pray
when he is wanting to eat. He should not even hasten to finish eating,
because the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If the dinner is served
and the time for
prayer comes, eat dinner before praying Salaat al-Maghrib, and do not rush
to finish your
meal." According to another report: "If dinner has been put out and the
iqaamah has been
given for prayer, eat dinner first and do not rush to finish it." (Agreed
upon. Al-Bukhaari, Kitaab
al-Aadhan, Baab idhaa hadara al-ta'aamu wa uqeemat al-salaah; Muslim, no.
557-559).
Not praying when one needs to answer the call of nature
No doubt one of the things that can prevent proper khushoo' is praying when
one needs to
go to the washroom. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
forbade
praying when one is suppressing the urge to urinate or defecate. (Reported
by Ibn Maajah in his
Sunan, no. 617; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 6832).
If anyone is in this position, he should first go to the bathroom and answer
the call of nature,
even if he misses whatever he misses of the congregational prayer, because
the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If any one of you needs
to go to the
toilet, and the prayer has begun, he should go to the toilet first."
(Reported by Abu Dawood, no.
88; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 299)
If this happens to a person whilst he is praying, he should stop praying, go
and answer the
call of nature, purify himself then pray, because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah
be upon him) said, "There is no prayer when there is food prepared or if one
is suppressing
the urge to expel waste matter." (Saheeh Muslim, no. 560). Without a doubt,
this trying to
suppress the urge takes away khushoo'. This ruling also applies to
suppressing the urge to
pass wind.
Not praying when one feels sleepy
Anas ibn Maalik said, "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon
him) said: "If any one of you feels sleepy when he is praying, he should
sleep until he [is
rested enough to] know what he is saying," i.e., he should take a nap until
he no longer feels
drowsy. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, no. 210).
This may happen when one is praying qiyaam al-layl, at the time when prayers
are
answered, and a person may pray against himself without realizing it. This
hadeeth also
includes fard prayers, when a person is confident that he will still have
enough time to pray
after taking a nap. (Fath al-Baari, Sharh Kitaab al-Wudoo', Baab al-wudoo'
min al-nawm).
Not praying behind someone who is talking (or sleeping)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade this; he
said: "Do not pray
behind one who is sleeping or one who is talking." (Reported by Abu Dawood,
no. 694; Saheeh
al-Jaami', no. 375. He said, a hasan hadeeth).
- because one who is talking will distract the worshipper with his talk, and
one who is
sleeping may expose something that will distract the worshipper.
Al-Khattaabi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: "As for praying behind
people who are
talking, al-Shaafa'i and Ahmad ibn Hanbal considered this to be makrooh,
because their talk
distracts the worshipper from his prayer." ('Awn al-Ma'bood, 2/388).
As regards not praying behind someone who is sleeping, a number of scholars
thought that
the evidence for this was weak (including Abu Dawood in his Sunan, Kitaab
al-Salaah, Tafree'
Abwaab al-Witr, Baab al-Du'aa', and Ibn Hajar in Fath al-Baari, Sharh Baab
al-Salaah khalf al-
Naa'im, Kitaab al-Salaah).
Al-Bukhaari, may Allaah have mercy on him, quoted the hadeeth of 'Aa'ishah
in his
Saheeh, Baab al-Salaah khalf al-Naa'im: "The Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be
upon him) used to pray whilst I was lying across from him on his bed..."
(Saheeh al-Bukhaari,
Kitaab al-Salaah).
Mujaahid, Taawoos and Maalik thought it makrooh to pray facing someone who
was
sleeping, lest he expose something that would distract the worshipper from
his prayer. (Fath
al-Baari, ibid.)
If there is no risk of that happening, then it is not makrooh to pray behind
someone who is
sleeping. And Allaah knows best.
Not occupying oneself with smoothing the ground in front of one
Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) reported from Mu'ayqeeb (may
Allaah be
pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said
concerning a man's smoothing the ground when he prostrates, "If you have to
do that, then
do it only once." (Fath al-Baari, 3/79).
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Do not wipe
(the ground) when you are praying, but if you have to, then do it only
once." (Reported by
Abu Dawood, no. 946; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 7452).
The reason for this prohibition is so as to maintain khushoo', and so that a
person will not
make too many extra movements in prayer. If the place where one is going to
prostrate
needs to be smoothed, it is better to do this before starting to pray.
This also applies to wiping the forehead or nose when praying. The Prophet
(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to prostrate in water and mud, which
would leave
traces on his forehead, but he did not bother to wipe it off every time he
raised his head from
sujood. It remained there because he was so deeply absorbed in his prayer
and his khushoo'
was so strong that he took not notice of it. The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be
upon him) said: "Prayer is an occupation in itself." (Reported by
al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari,
3/72). Ibn Abi Shaybah reported that Abu'l-Darda' said: "Even if I were to
get red camels, I
would not like to wipe the gravel from my forehead." 'Ayaad said: "The salaf
did not like to
wipe their foreheads before they finished praying." (al-Fath, 3/79).
Just as a worshipper should avoid anything that will distract him from his
prayer, by the
same token he should avoid disturbing others. This includes:
Not disturbing others with one's recitation
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"All of you are
speaking to your Lord, so do not disturb one another, and do not raise your
voices above one
another when reciting" or he said, "in prayer." (Reported by Abu Dawood,
2/83; Saheeh al-
Jaami', no. 752). According to another report, he said, "Do not compete with
one another in
raising your voices when reciting Qur'aan." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/36;
Saheeh al-Jaami',
1951).
Not turning around during prayer
Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: 'Allaah continues to turn towards His
slave whilst he
is praying, so long as he does not turn away, but if he turns away, [Allaah]
turns away from
him." (Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 909; Saheeh Abi Dawood).
Turning away during prayer is of two types:
The turning away of the heart to something other than Allaah.
The turning away of the eyes.
Both of them are not allowed, and are detrimental to the reward for the
prayer. The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked
about turning
away during prayer, and he said: "It is something that Shaytaan steals from
a person's
prayer." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Adhaan, Baab al-Iltifaat
fi'l-Salaah).
The one who turns away with his heart or his eyes during prayer is like a
man who is called
by the ruler and made to stand before him, and when the ruler starts to
address him, he turns
away, looking to the right and the left, not listening to what the ruler is
saying and not
understanding a word of it, because his heart and mind are elsewhere. What
does this man
think the ruler will do to him?
The least that he deserves is that when he leaves the ruler, he is hated and
no longer valued.
One who prays like this is not equal to one who prays with the proper
presence of mind,
turning to Allaah in his prayer in such a way that he feels the greatness of
the One before
Whom he is standing, and he is filled with fear and submission; he feels too
shy before his
Lord to turn to anyone else or to turn away. The difference between their
prayers is as
Hassaan ibn 'Atiyah said: "The two men may be in one congregation, but the
difference in
virtue between them is as great as the distance between heaven and earth.
One of them is
turning with all his heart towards Allaah, whilst the other is negligent and
forgetful." (Al-
Waabil al-Sayib by Ibn al-Qayyim, Daar al-Bayaan, p. 36).
As for turning away for a genuine reason, this is OK. Abu Dawood reported
that Sahl ibn al-
Hanzaliyyah said: "We started praying - Salaat al-Subh (Fajr) - and the
Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was looking at the
ravine." Abu
Dawood said: "He had sent a horseman at night to guard the ravine." This is
like when he
carried Umaamah bint Abi'l-'Aas, and when he opened the door for 'Aa'ishah,
and when he
came down from the minbar whilst praying in order to teach them, and when he
stepped
back during Salaat al-Kusoof (prayer at the time of an eclipse), and when he
grabbed and
strangled the Shaytaan when he wanted to interrupt his prayer. He also
ordered that snakes
and scorpions should be killed even during prayer, and a person who is
praying should stop
and even fight one who wants to pass in front of him whilst he is praying.
He told women to
clap during prayer [if they spot a mistake on the part of the imaam], and he
used to wave or
gesture to people who greeted him whilst he was praying. These and other
actions may be
done in cases of necessity, but if there is no necessity, then they are just
idle gestures that
cancel out khushoo' and are therefore not allowed during prayer. (Majmoo'
al-Fataawa,
22/559).
Not raising one's gaze to the heavens
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade us to do
this and issued a
warning against it. He said: "When any one of you is praying, he should not
lift his gaze to
the heavens, lest he lose his sight." (Reported by Ahmad, 5/294; Saheeh
al-Jaami', no. 762).
According to another report, he said: "What is wrong with people who lift
their gaze to the
heavens whilst they are praying?" According to another report, he said:
"that they raise their
gaze when they make du'aa' during salaah?" (Reported by Muslim, no. 429). He
spoke out
strongly against it, to the extent that he said, "Let them stop it, or their
eyesight will be taken
away." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 5/258; Saheeh al-Jaami', 5574).
Not spitting in front of one when praying
This is incompatible with khushoo' and good manners before Allaah. The
Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "When any one of you is praying,
let him not spit
in front of himself, for Allaah is before him when he prays." (Reported by
al-Bukhaari in his
Saheeh, no. 397).
He also said: "When any one of you stands up to pray, he should not spit in
front of himself,
because he is talking to Allaah - may He be blessed and exalted - as long as
he is in his
prayer place; and he should not [spit] to his right, because there is an
angel on his right. He
should spit to his left, or beneath his feet, and bury it." (Reported by
al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, no.
416, 1/512).
He said: "When one of you stands to pray, he is talking to his Lord, and his
Lord is between
him and the qiblah, so none of you should spit in the direction of his
qiblah, but to his left or
under his feet." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath al-Baari, no. 417,
1/513).
If the mosque is furnished with carpets and so on, as is the norm nowadays,
if a person
needs to spit, he can take out a handkerchief or whatever, spit into it, and
put it away again.
Trying not to yawn when praying
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"If any one of
you feels the urge to yawn during prayer, let him suppress it as much as he
can, lest the
Shaytaan enter..." (Reported by Muslim, 4/2293). If the Shaytaan enters, he
will be more able
to disturb the worshipper's khushoo', in addition to laughing at him when he
yawns.
Not putting one's hands on one's hips when praying
Abu Hurayrah said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him)
forbade putting the hands on the hips during prayer." (Reported by Abu
Dawood, no. 947; Saheeh
al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-'Aml fi'l-Salaah, Baab al-Hadhr fi'l-Salaah).
Ziyaad ibn Subayh al-Hanafi said: "I prayed beside Ibn 'Umar and I put my
hand on my hip,
but he struck my hand. When he had finished praying, he said, "This is
crossing in prayer.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to
forbid
this." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/106 and others. Classed as saheeh by
al-Haafiz al-'Iraaqi in
Takhreej al-Ihyaa'. See al-Irwaa', 2/94).
It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said that this
posture is how the people of Hell rest; we seek refuge with Allaah from
that. (Reported by al-
Bayhaqi from Abu Hurayrah. Al-'Iraaqi said, its isnaad appears to be
saheeh).
Not letting one's clothes hang down ( sadl) during prayer
It was reported that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him)
forbade letting one's clothes hang down during prayer or for a man to cover
his mouth.
(Reported by Abu Dawood, no. 643; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 6883. He said, this
is a hasan hadeeth). In
'Awn al-Ma'bood (2/347) al-Khattaabi said: "Al-sadl: letting one's clothes
hang down all the
way to the ground." It was reported in Marqaat al-Mafaateeh (2/236):
"Al-sadl is
completely forbidden because it has to do with showing off, and in prayer it
is even worse."
The author of al-Nihaayah said: "It means wrapping oneself up in one's
garment, leaving
one's hands inside and bowing and prostrating in it." It was said that the
Jews used to do
this. It was also said that al-sadl meant putting the garment over one's
head or shoulders,
and letting its edges come down in front and over one's upper arms, so that
a person will be
preoccupied in taking care of it, which reduces khushoo', unlike garments
that are tied up
properly or buttoned, which do not distract the worshipper or affect his
khushoo'. These
kinds of clothes are still to be found nowadays in some parts of Africa and
elsewhere, and in
the way some Arabian cloaks are worn, which distract the worshipper and keep
him busy
adjusting them, retying them if they become loose and so on. This should be
avoided.
The reason why it is forbidden to cover one's mouth was explained by the
scholars as being
because that prevents a person from reciting Qur'aan and doing sujood
properly. (Marqaat al-
Mafaateeh, 2/236).
Not resembling animals
Allaah has honoured the son of Adam and created him in the best way, so it
is shameful for
the son of Adam to resemble or imitate animals. We have been forbidden to
resemble or
imitate a number of postures or movements of animals when we pray, because
that is
contrary to khushoo' or because it is ugly and does not befit the worshipper
who is praying.
For example, it was reported that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be
upon him) forbade three things in prayer: pecking like a crow, spreading
one's forearms like
a carnivore, or always praying in the same place like a camel keeping to its
own territory.
(Reported by Ahmad, 3/428). It was said that when a man always prays in the
same place in the
mosque, making it his own, it is like a camel keeping to its own territory.
(Al-Fath al-Rabaani,
4/91). According to another report: "He forbade me to peck like a cockerel,
to sit like a dog
or to turn like a fox." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/311; Saheeh al-Targheeb,
no. 556).
This is what we were able to mention about the means of attaining khushoo',
so that we may
strive for them, and about the things that detract from khushoo', so that we
can avoid them.
There is another issue that has to do with khushoo', to which the scholars
attached so much
importance that it is worthy of mention here:
[ Table of Contents ]
Good manners at home
(21) Spreading kindness in the home.
'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: "The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: 'When Allaah - may He be glorified -
wills some
good towards the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.'"
(Reported by
Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/71; Saheeh al-Jaami', 303). According to another
report: "When
Allaah loves the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them."
(Reported by
Ibn Abi al-Dunya and others; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 1704). In other words,
they start to be kind to
one another. This is one of the means of attaining happiness in the home,
for kindness is
very beneficial between the spouses, and with the children, and brings
results that cannot be
achieved through harshness, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him)
said: "Allaah loves kindness and rewards it in such a way that He does not
reward for
harshness or for anything else." (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Birr
wa'l-Sillah wa 'l-Aadaab, no.
2592).
(22) Helping one's wife with the housework.
Many men think that housework is beneath them, and some of them think that
it will
undermine their status and position if they help their wives with this work.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him),
however, used to
"sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do
in their
homes." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/121; Saheeh al-Jaami',
4927).
This was said by his wife 'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her), when
she was asked
about what the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) used to do
in his house; her response described what she herself had seen. According to
another report,
she said: "He was like any other human being: he would clean his clothes,
milk his ewe and
serve himself." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/256; al-Silsilat
al-Saheehah, 671). She
(may Allaah be pleased with her) was also asked about what the Messenger of
Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do in his house, and she said,
"He used to
serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would go out to
pray." (Reported by
al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 2/162).
If we were to do likewise nowadays, we would achieve three things:
We would be following the example of the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him)
We would be helping our wives
We would feel more humble, not arrogant.
Some men demand food instantly from their wives, when the pot is on the
stove and the
baby is screaming to be fed; they do not pick up the child or wait a little
while for the food.
Let these ahaadeeth be a reminder and a lesson.
(23) Being affectionate towards and joking with the members of the family.
Showing affection towards one's wife and children is one of the things that
lead to creating
an atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in the home. Thus the Messenger
of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised Jaabir to marry a
virgin, saying, "Why
did you not marry a virgin, so you could play with her and she could play
with you, and you
could make her laugh and she could make you laugh?" (The hadeeth is reported
in a number of
places in the Saheehayn, such as al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 9/121). The Prophet
(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) also said: "Everything in which Allaah's name is not
mentioned is
idleness and play, except for four things: a man playing with his wife..."
(Reported by al-
Nisaa'i in 'Ushrat al -Nisa', p. 87; also in Saheeh al-Jaami'). The Prophet
(peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) used to treat his wife 'Aa'ishah affectionately when
doing ghusl with
her, as she (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: "The Messenger of Allaah
and I used to
do ghusl together from one vessel, and he would pretend to take all the
water so that I would
say, 'Leave some for me, leave some for me,'" - and both of them were in a
state of
janaabah (impurity). (Muslim bi Sharh al -Nawawi, 4/6).
The ways in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
showed
affection towards young children are too famous to need mentioning. He often
used to show
his affection towards Hasan and Husayn, as mentioned above. This is probably
one of the
reason why the children used to rejoice when he came back from travelling;
they would rush
to welcome him, as reported in the saheeh hadeeth: "Whenever he came back
from a
journey, the children of his household would be taken out to meet him." He
(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to hug them close to him, as
'Abd-Allaah ibn Ja;far
said: "Whenever the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came
back from a
journey, we would be taken out to meet him. One day we met him, Hasan,
Husayn and I. He
carried one of us in front of him, and another on his back, until we entered
Madeenah." (Saheeh Muslim, 4/1885-2772; see the commentary in Tuhfat
al-Ahwadhi, 8/56).
Compare this with the situation in some miserable homes where there are no
truthful jokes
[i.e., jokes that do not involve lying], no affection and no mercy. Whoever
thinks that
kissing his children goes against the dignity of fatherhood should read the
following
hadeeth: from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: "The
Messenger
of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) kissed al-Hasan ibn
'Ali, and al-
Aqra' ibn Haabis al-Tameemi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra' said: 'I have ten
children and I
have never kissed any one of them.' The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of
Allaah be upon him) looked at him and said: 'The one who does not show mercy
will not be
shown mercy.'"
(24) Resisting bad manners in the home.
Every member of the household is bound to have some bad characteristics,
such as lying,
backbiting, gossiping and so on. These bad characteristics have to be
resisted and opposed.
Some people think that corporal punishment is the only way to deal with such
things. The
following hadeeth is very educational on this topic: from 'Aa'ishah (may
Allaah be pleased
with her) who said: "If the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon
him) came to know that one of his household had told a lie, he would try to
ignore him until
he repented." (See al-Musnad by Imaam Ahmad, 6/152. The text of the hadeeth
is also in Saheeh al-
Jaami', no. 4675).
It is clear from the hadeeth that turning away and forsaking a person by not
speaking to
them, rather than resorting to punishment, is effective in such
circumstances, and may be
more effective than physical punishment, so let parents and caregivers think
about this.
(25) "Hang up the whip where the members of the household can see it."
(Reported by Abu
Na'eem in al-Hilyah, 7/332; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, no. 1446).
Hinting at punishment is an effective means of discipline, so the reason for
hanging up a
whip or stick in the house was explained in another report, where the
Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Hang up the whip where the members
of the
household can see it, for this is more effective in disciplining them."
(Reported by al -Tabaraani,
10/344-345; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, no. 1447)
Seeing the means of punishment hanging up will make those who have bad
intentions
refrain from indulging in bad behaviour, lest they get a taste of the
punishment. It will
motivate them to behave themselves and be good-mannered. Ibn al-Anbaari
said: "There is
nothing to suggest that it should be used for hitting, because [the Prophet
(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him)] did not command anyone to do that. What he
meant was:
keep on disciplining them." (See Fayd al-Qadeer by al-Mannaawi, 4/325).
Hitting is not the way to discipline; it is not to be resorted to, except
when all other means
are exhausted, or when it is needed to force someone to do obligatory acts
of obedience, as
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "... As to those women on whose
part you fear
ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and
last) beat them
(lightly, if it is useful)..." [al-Nisa' 4:34] - in that order. There is
also the hadeeth: "Order
your children to pray when they are seven years old, and hit them if they do
not do so when
they are ten." (Sunan Abi Dawood, 1/334; see also Irwa' al-Ghaleel, 1/266).
As for hitting unnecessarily, this is aggression. The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) advised a woman not to marry a man because
he always
had his stick on his shoulder, i.e., he used to beat his wives. On the other
hand, there are
those who think that they should never use this method of discipline at all,
following some
kaafir educational theories; this is also a mistaken opinion that goes
against the sharee'ah.
[ Table of Contents ]
Evils in the home
Beware of non-mahrem relatives entering upon women when their husbands are
absent.
Men and women should sit separately during family visits.
Be aware of the dangers of having male drivers and female servants in the
house.
Kick immoral people out of your houses.
Beware of the dangers of TV.
Beware of the evils of the telephone.
You have to remove everything that contains symbols of the false religions
of the kuffaar or
their gods and objects of worship.
Removing pictures of animate beings.
Do not allow smoking in your homes.
Do not keep dogs in your homes.
Avoid too much decoration in your homes (keep it simple).
[ Table of Contents ]
The home inside and out
Choosing a good location and design of home.
No doubt the true Muslim pays attention to the choice and design of a home
in ways that
others do not.
With regard to location, for example:
The home should be close to a mosque. This has obvious advantages: the call
to
prayer will remind people of prayer and wake them up for it; living close to
the
mosque will enable men to join the congregational prayers, women to listen
to
the Qur'aan recitation and dhikr over the mosque's loudspeakers, and
children to
join study-circles for memorization of Qur'aan, and so on.
The home should not be in a building where there are immoral people, or in a
compound where kuffaar live and where there is a mixed swimming pool and so
on.
The house should not overlook others or be overlooked; if it is, he should
put up
curtains and make walls and fences higher.
With regard to design and lay out, for example:
He should pay attention to the matter of segregating men and women when
nonmahrams
come to visit, e.g. separate entrances and sitting areas. If that cannot be
done, then use should be made of curtains, screens and so on.
Covering windows, so that neighbours or people in the street will not be
able to
see who is in the house, especially at night when the lights are on.
The toilets should not be sited in such a way that one faces the qiblah when
using
them.
Choosing a spacious house with plenty of amenities. This is for a number of
reasons:
"Allaah loves to see the signs of His blessings on His slave." (Hadeeth
narrated by
al-Tirmidhi, no. 2819. He said: This is a hasan hadeeth).
"There are three elements of happiness and three elements of misery. The
elements of happiness are: a righteous wife, who when you see her she
pleases
you, and when you are absent from her you feel that you can trust her with
regard
to herself and your wealth; a compliant riding-beast that helps you to keep
up
with your companions; and a house that is spacious and has plenty of
amenities.
The elements of misery are: a wife who when you see her you feel upset, she
keeps attacking you verbally, and when you are absent from her you do not
feel
that you can trust her with regard to herself and your wealth; a stubborn
ridingbeast
that if whip it, you get tired, and if you do not whip it, it does not help
you
to keep up with your companions; and a house with few amenities." (Hadeeth
narrated by al-Haakim, 3/262; Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 3056).
Paying attention to health-related matters such as ventilation, natural
light and so
on. These matters depend on financial ability and feasibility.
(38) Choosing the neighbour before the house.
This is a matter which has to be singled out for discussion because of its
importance.
Nowadays neighbours have more impact on one another, because houses are
closer together
and people live together in buildings, apartments and compounds.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us
of four causes
of happiness, one of which is a righteous neighbour, and four causes of
misery, one of which
is a bad neighbour. (Reported by Abu Na'eem in al-Hilyah, 8/388; Saheeh
al-Jaami', 887). Because
of the seriousness of the latter, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) used
to seek refuge with Allaah from bad neighbours in his du'aa': "Allaahumma
innee a'oodhu
bika min jaar al-soo' fi daar il-muqaamah fa inna jaar al-baadiyah
yatahawwil (O Allaah, I
seek refuge with You from a bad neighbour in my permanent home, for the
neighbour in the
desert [i.e. on a journey] moves on)." He commanded the Muslims to seek
refuge with
Allaah from a bad neighbour in a permanent home because the neighbour in the
desert will
eventually move on. (Reported by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, no. 117;
Saheeh al-Jaami',
2967).
There is no room here to talk about the influence a bad neighbour may have
on a couple and
their children, or the kinds of nuisance he can cause, or the misery of
living next to him. But
applying these ahaadeeth quoted above to one's own life should be sufficient
for the one
who is possessed of understanding. Another practical solution is that
implemented by some
good people who rent neighbouring homes for their families, so as to solve
the neighbour
problem. This may be an expensive solution, but a good neighbour is
priceless.
(39) Paying attention to necessary repairs in the home, and making sure that
the amenities
are in good working order.
Among the blessings of Allaah in this modern age are the "mod cons" that He
has bestowed
upon us, which make many things easier and save time, such as
air-conditioners, fridges,
washing-machines and so on. It is wise to have the best quality of
appliances that one can
afford, without being extravagant or putting oneself under financial strain.
We should also
be careful to distinguish between useful extras and extravagant additions
that have no real
value.
Part of caring for the home includes fixing appliances and amenities that
break down. Some
people neglect these things, and their wives complain about homes crawling
with vermin,
with overflowing drains and piles of stinking garbage, filled with broken
and worn out
furniture.
No doubt this is one of the obstacles to happiness in the home, and causes
problems in the
marriage and health problems. The smart person is the one who hastens to fix
these things.
Paying attention to the family's health and safety procedures.
When any member of his family got sick, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of
Allaah be upon him) would blow on them and recite al-Mi'wadhatayn (last two
soorahs of
the Qur'aan). (Reported by Muslim, no. 2192).
When one of his family members got sick, he would call for soup, and it
would be made for
him, then he would tell them to drink it, and he would say, "It will
strengthen the heart of
the one who is grieving and cleanse (heal) the heart of the one who is sick
just as any one of
you wipes the dirt from her face." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2039;
Saheeh al-Jaami', no. 4646).
One of the ways of taking safety precautions is:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"When evening
comes, keep your children inside, for the shayaateen (devils) spread out at
that time. Then
when an hour of the night has passed, let your children go, lock the doors
and mention the
name of Allaah, cover your pots and mention the name of Allaah,even if you
only place a
stick across the top of your vessel, and extinguish your lamps." (Reported
by al-Bukhaari,
al-Fath, 10/88-89).
According to a report narrated by Muslim, he (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him)
said: "Lock your doors, cover your vessels, extinguish your lamps and tie
your knots
properly [i.e., cover your jugs properly - in those days they would cover
them with a piece
of cloth and tie it], for the Shaytaan does not open a door that is closed,
or uncover
something that is covered, or untie a knot that you tie. And the mouse could
set the house on
fire (i.e. it could pull out the wick of the lamp and set the house on
fire)." (Reported by Imaam
Ahmad in al-Musnad, 3/103); Saheeh al-Jaami', 1080).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Do not leave
fires lit in your
houses when you go to sleep." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 11/85).
And Allaah knows best. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

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