HAMDITABLIGH.NET - OUR ISLAMIC HOME

Assalamu'alaikum warahmatullah wabaraktuh

May this email rech you in the best of health and strongest of Imaan

("May the blessings of Allah be on our Deen, life, childrens, family and wealth.")

Is Your Home an Islamic Home?

"And Allah has made for you in your homes a place of rest..."[An-Nahl:80]
This may seem like an unusual question and your automatic response may be "Why, of course my home is an Islamic Home!! My family is Muslim and that makes our home a Muslim one!!"
Go through this short checklist to determine if your response should really be in the affirmative.

I Have Chosen a Good Spouse

There are several ahadeeth that highlight the importance of choosing a righteous and pious spouse. The wisdom of this is obvious: a pious spouse is more likely to bring happiness and contentment to the other spouse and the couple together will be more able to build a righteous family and home life. This is the foundation of the home.

I Help Guide My Spouse

This begins with each spouse fulfilling the duties and responsibilities of their roles and treating each other with kindness and compassion. It then goes beyond this to include guidance in other spiritual matters such as striving to strengthen imaan; paying attention to worship and correcting it when needed; encouraging the reading of Qur'an, praying at night, giving charity, and reading books on Islam; helping to choose pious friends; enjoining goodness and forbidding evil. Imaan is something that may
increase or decrease so it is necessary to continually focus on increasing our own and that of our spouse.

Our Home is a Place for Remembrance of Allah

Remembrance can be in many forms: with the heart, with the tongue, through prayer, recitation of Qur'an, memorizing adhkaar and using them, discussing Islamic issues, or reading Islamic material. These are things that should occur on a consistent basis so that the angels will come to the home and bring Allah's blessings. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said: "The example of a home in which Allah is remembered and the example of a
home in which Allah is not remembered, is like comparing the living and the dead." (Muslim).

Our Home is a Place of Worship

This means that salah is established within the home at its required time and that members of the family pray in congregation when several are present. The family may also designate a specific area for prayer and maintain its uniqueness and cleanliness. For women, it is better to pray each prayer within the home. For men, it is recommended to pray voluntary prayers at home after having prayed obligatory prayers in the masjid. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said: "The voluntary prayer in the home is better than the voluntary prayer with the people. It is like the
obligatory prayer of the man in congregation being better than praying the obligatory by himself." (Sahih al-Jaami). This is to ensure that homes are made places of worship just as the masajids.

We Regularly read Surat Al-Baqarah and Ayatul Kursi to Keep Satan Away The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said: "Recite SuratAl-Baqarah in your houses, for the Satan does not enter a house in which SuratAl-Baqarah is recited." (Sahih al-Jaami). He also said: "When you go to your bed, recite Ayatul Kursi: 'Allah! There is no god but Him, the Ever-Living, the One Who Sustains and Protects all that exists', to the end, for then there will remain over you a guardian from Allah, and Satan will not come near you until morning." (Bukhari).

Teaching and Learning are Ongoing Activities in Our Home

This is primarily the responsibility of the head of die household who must ensure that he is guiding his family to the correct path, enjoining them to do good, and forbidding them from evil. Attaining knowledge is incumbent upon all members of the family and is the basis upon which Imaan will flourish, A study circle should be established in the home that covers the various areas in Islam and from which all family members will benefit.
Children should especially be encouraged to participate since this will establish a pattern for them that will be carried throughout their lifetimes.

We Have an Islamic Library in Our Home

This may include such things as books, cassette tapes, and CDs. It is important to choose accurate and reliable material that will benefit the members of the family. There should be a variety of materials to cover all age levels and language needs of those in the home. Arabic material is definitely a must since everyone in the family should either know or be learning to read the language of the Qur'an. Books should cover a variety of topics, be properly organized, and be easily accessible. Audiotapes and
CDs may include Qur'an recitation, lectures, khutbahs, tapes for children containing supplications, reminders of Islamic manners, and nasheeds (religious songs with no musical instruments). Family members should encourage one another to use these materials on a regular basis, and should be shared with other Muslim families who may be in need of them.

We Try to Have Morals and Manners Like Prophet Muhammad
The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said; "When Allah wills some good towards the people of a household. He introduces kindness among them." (Ahmad, Sahih al-Jaami). He also said: "Allah loves kindness and rewards it in such a way the He docs not reward for harshness or for anything else."
(Muslim). There are many examples of the Prophet's kindness and good treatment toward his family that we should try to emulate. He was affectionate and playful with his wives and children and would help with household chores to case the burden for his wives. Following his example will bring tranquility to the home and help to truly make it an abode of rest.

We Know the Islamic Rulings That Pertain to Houses

Such as guarding the secrets of the home, seeking permission to enter, not looking into other people's homes, not allowing children to enter the parent's bedroom during certain times of the day, and not staying alone overnight. This last one is interesting to consider since some husbands travel for their business or work. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wasallam, actually discouraged this. Ibn Umar reported that the Prophet forbade being alone and said that a man should not stay overnight alone or travel alone (Ahmad). Not only will he be alone, but his wife and children are likely to be left alone in the home without any protection or companionship.
We Invite Righteous and Knowledgeable People to Our Home

"My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a believer, and all the believing men and women." [71:28].

Righteous people who enter your home will bring many benefits due to their presence and conversations with them. They are more likely to discuss useful topics and may be excellent sources of information and knowledge. We should always make du'aa that Allah will bless us with righteous friends since they can
have such positive effects on us. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, said: "Keep company with a believer only, and let your food be eaten only by the righteous." (Abu Dawud, Tirmithi).

There are No Evils Within Our Home

Television with programmes displaying sex scenes, films should be monitored at all times, especially where there are young children in the house.; pictures on the wall do not contain animate
beings; there are no statues or anything that resembles statues; dogs are not present in the house; smoking is not allowed; decorations are kept simple to avoid excessiveness; the telephone is used for beneficial purposes and not harmful ones (such as gossiping or backbiting). The effects of these evils on the sanctity of the home should be obvious. For example, the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said: "Angels do not enter a house
which has either a dog or a picture in it." (Bukhari).

The Physical Aspects of the Home are Conducive to Fulfilling Religious Obligations

It is best for the home to be close to a mosque so that it will be easier for men to attend the prayers in congregation and for all family members to visit the mosque for lectures, study groups, and social gatherings. It is also advisable to find an area where other Muslims live to obtain the benefits of community. One should definitely be careful about close neighbors and avoid those who are obviously immoral. When choosing a house, consideration should be made regarding the availability of separate sitting areas for men and women. The house should be spacious and fulfil safety and
health requirements.

Written by Dr. Zakariya

Tips For Husband and Wife to Build Better Relationship

By Ibrahim Bowers

Although many Muslims may right now be in failing marriages and on a fast track to divorce and its terrible consequences, there are many ways to put their marriage back on the right track if the husband and wife are sincere in their desire to reconcile. The following principles can be used by Muslims whose marriages are already in trouble or by Muslims who would like to avoid trouble in their marriage.

Examples of Negative
Relationship of Husband & Wife

Many Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like adversaries rather than partners. The husband feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says goes. The wife feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives never show their husband that they are satisfied with anything he does or buys for them in order to trick him into doing and buying more. They make him feel like a failure if he does not give them the lifestyle that their friends and families enjoy. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in the family.

Marriage In The Eyes of Allah

It is very sad that this relationship which Allah (SWT) has established for the good has been made a source of contention, deception, trickery, tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This is not the way marriage is supposed to be.

Allah (SWT) described marriage very differently in the Holy Quran: '. . . He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) . . . " (Holy Quran 30:21, Yusuf Ali Translation).

Do not be a Tyrant

Regardless of whether or not Islam has made the husband the head of the household, Muslims are not supposed to be dictators and tyrants. We are taught to treat our wives well. The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives" (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278(R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi).

Be Partners in the Decision Making Process.

Follow the principle of 'Shura," and make decisions as a family. There will be much more harmony in the family when decisions are not imposed and everyone feels that they had some part in making them.

Never be Emotionally

Never be emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive to your spouse. The Prophet (SAWS) never mistreated his wives. He is reported to have said: 'How could they beat their women in daytime as slaves and then sleep with them in the night?"

Be Careful of Your Words

Be very careful what you say when you are upset. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation.

Show Affection

Show affection for your mate. Be kind, gentle, and loving.

Be Your Spouse's Friend

Show interest in your mate's life. Too often, we live in the same house but know nothing about each other's lives. It would be great if the husband and wife could work together for the same cause or on the same project. They could perhaps establish a husband/wife prison ministry, take care of orphans in their home, or lead an Islamic weekend class.

Show Appreciation

Show appreciation for what your spouse does for the family. Never make your husband feel that he is not doing good enough for the family or that you are not satisfied with his work or his efforts, unless, of course, he is truly lazy and not even trying to provide for the family. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the woman who has been ungrateful to her husband." (where is this hadith found) Show your wife that you appreciate her. If she takes care of the house and the children, don't take it for granted. It is hard work, and no one likes to feel unappreciated.

Work Together in the House

The Prophet (SAWS) is known to have helped his wives in the house. And if the Prophet (SAWS) was not above doing housework, modern Muslim husbands shouldn't feel that they are.

Communication is Important

Communication, Communication, Communication! This is the big word in counseling. And it should be. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until an explosion occurs.

Forget Past Problems

Don't bring up past problems once they have been solved.

Live Simply

Don't be jealous of those who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. The 'rizq" is from Allah (SWT). In order to develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) for the many blessings in your life.

Give Your Spouse Time Alone

If your mate doesn't want to be with you all the time, it doesn't mean he or she doesn't love you. People need to be alone for various reasons. Sometimes they want to read, to think about their problems, or just to relax. Don't make them feel that they are committing a sin.

Admit Your Mistakes

When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never go to sleep angry with each other.

Physical Relationship is Important

Be available to your mate sexually, and don't let your sexual relationship be characterized by selfishness. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'It is not appropriate that you fall upon your wives like a beast but you must send a message of love beforehand."

Have Meals Together

Try to eat together as a family when possible. Show the cook and the dishwasher, whether it is the husband or the wife, appreciation for his or her efforts. The Prophet (SAWS) did not complain about food that was put before him.

Be Mindful of Your discussion Topics

Never discuss with others things about your marriage that your spouse wouldn't like you to discuss, unless there is an Islamic reason to do so. Some husbands and wives, believe it or not, complain to others about their mate's physical appearance. This is a recipe for disaster. Information about your intimate relations should be kept between you and your spouse.

Many of us treat our spouses in ways that we would never treat others. With others, we try to be polite, kind, and patient. With our spouses, we often do not show these courtesies. Of course, we are usually with our spouses at our worst times --- when we are tired and frustrated after a hard day. After a bad day at the office, husbands usually come home angry and on edge. The wife has probably also had a hard day with the children and the housework. Wives and husbands should discuss this potential time bomb so that if they are short-tempered with each other during these times, they will understand the reasons rather than automatically thinking that their spouse no longer loves them.

Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work. Following these principles should help any marriage to improve. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated. If you follow this rule, your marriage will have a much greater chance for success. If you discard this rule, failure is just around the corner.

Sister Dina Istova

Moderator of http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MyIslam/