(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4512; according to another report: he accepted their
bay’ah by words… the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman except a
woman he owned . Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6674).
DILEMMA OF SOME MUSLIMS
Some Muslims feel too embarrassed to refuse when a woman offers her hand to
them. In addition to mixing with women, some of them claim that they are
forced to shake hands with fellow-students and teachers in schools and
universities, or with colleagues in the workplace, or in business meetings and
so on, but this is not an acceptable excuse. The Muslim should overcome his
own feelings and the promptings of the Shaytaan, and be strong in his faith,
because Allaah is not ashamed of the truth. The Muslim could apologize
politely and explain that the reason he does not want to shake hands is not to
offend or hurt anybody’s feelings, but it is because he is following the
teachings of his religion. In most cases this will earn him respect from
others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, and it may
even be a practical opportunity for da’wah. And Allaah knows best.
GREETING SALAM TO NON MAHRAMS
There is nothing wrong with the shar’i greeting of salaam in which there is
no fitnah and no shaking hands, and which does not give rise to doubts and
does not involve any softness in speech, and in which hijaab is observed and
there is no being alone with a member of the opposite sex, because Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): “O wives of the Prophet! You are not like
any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in
speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for
adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable
manner”[al-Ahzaab 33:32]
At the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him), the women used to greet him and ask him questions concerning
things they did not understand, and the women also used to ask the companions
of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
concerning things they did not understand. With regard to a woman shaking
hands with other women, or shaking hands with men who are her mahrams, such as
her brothers, uncles, etc., there is nothing wrong with that.
And it was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "You will not
enter Paradise until you (truly) believe, and you will not (truly) believe
until you love one another. Shall I not tell you something which, if you do
it, you will love one another? Spread the greeting of salaam amongst
yourselves."
Narrated by Muslim, 54.
The command to spread the greeting of salaam is general and
applies to all the believers. It includes men greeting men and women greeting
women, and a man greeting his female mahrams. All of them are enjoined to
initiate the greeting of salaam, and the other is obliged to return the
greeting.
But there is a special ruling that applies to a man greeting a
non-mahram woman, because of the fitnah (temptation) that may result from that
in some cases.
There is nothing wrong with a man greeting a non-mahram woman
with salaam, without shaking hands with her, if she is elderly, but he should
not greet a young woman with salaams when there is no guarantee that there
will be no fitnah (temptation). This is what is indicated by the comments of
the scholars, may Allaah have mercy on them.
Imam Maalik was asked: Can a woman be greeted with salaam? He
said: With regard to the elderly woman, I do not regard that as makrooh, but
with regard to the young woman, I do not like that.
Saalih (the son of Imam Ahmad) said: I asked my father about
greeting women with salaam. He said: With regard to old women, there is
nothing wrong with it, but with regard to young women, they should not be
prompted to speak by being made to return the salaam.
If she is an old woman and he will not be tempted by her, then
it is permissible for her to greet the man with salaam and for the man to
return her salaams.
Abu Dawood (5204) narrated that Asma' the daughter of Yazeed
said: "The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) passed by
us woman and greeted us with salaam." Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
Saheeh Abi Dawood.
And al-Bukhaari (6248) narrated that Sahl ibn Sa'd said:
"There was an old woman of our acquaintance who would send someone to
Budaa'ah (a garden of date-palms in Madeenah). She would take the roots of
silq (a kind of vegetable) and put them in a cooking pot with some powdered
barley. After we had prayed Jumu'ah, we would go and greet her, then she
should offer (that food) to us."