Have you heard
the saying: "Tell me who your best friends are, and I will tell you
who you are?". Or the saying: "If you run with wolves, you will
learn how to howl", and "if you associate with eagles, you
will learn how to soar to great heights?". These sayings indicate
that the types of friends you have, often indicate the type of person
you are. The Prophet Sall Allahu alaihi wa sallam adviced: "A person
molds his way of life (his deen) according to his friends. So you should
be careful about who you make your friend!" (reported by Ahmad)
A saying, I used to hear my late grandmother say (which she constantly
drummed into me) was: "A mirror reflects a person's face, but
what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses. The
simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you
closely associate for the good and the bad, therefore, always
remember that keeping good company is essential" : "And
keep thy soul (yourself) content with those who call on their Lord morning
and evening, seeking His Face (countenance); and let not thine eyes
pass beyond them, seeking the pomp and glitter of this Life;
nor obey any whose heart We have permitted to neglect the remembrance
of Us, one who follows his own desires, and whose case has gone
beyond all bounds." Surah Al Kahf 18: 28.
Think about it; almost all of our sorrows spring out of the relationships
with the wrong people. Instead, "Keep out of the suction caused by
those who drift backwards" (E.K.Piper).
The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.
Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others it increases your mediocrity. A
proverb confirms, "If you find yourself taking two steps forward and
one step backwards, invariably it's because you have mixed associations in
your life." If a loafer isn't a nuisance to you, it's a sign that you
are somewhat of a loafer yourself. I have discovered that an important
attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking
and negative acting people.
A true friend is one who is there to care. They remain your friend even if
you don't deserve to have a friend. They will see you through when others
think you're through.
If you were to list your greatest benefits, resources or strengths, you
would find that money is one of the least important ones while some of
your greatest resources are the people you know. A true friend sees beyond
you to what you can be.
Invest in good relationships. The way to make a true friend is to be one.
Your wealth is where your friends are. Consider what Francesco
Guicciardini said: "Since there is nothing so well worth having as
friends, never lose a chance to make the right ones."
As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not
want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are.
Friends that don't help you climb, will want you to crawl. Your friends
will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase
you will eventually decrease you.
Consider this: never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never
discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the
solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to
tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You
are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with
the wrong person.
Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere. With some people you spend
an evening: with others you invest it. Be careful where you stop to
inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who
fortifies his life with the right friendships.
The
following, are some excerpts from http://members.lycos.co.uk/archive2002/June/BadandGoodcompany.htm
contributed by Brother Abdul Mateen Khan on
"Islam: The Natural Way" by Abdul Wahid Hamid, and
"What Islam is All About" by Yahya Emerick:
Prophet's
Advice: 'He Who Helps You Remember'
The
Prophet (peace be upon him) has given similar advice in choosing
companions and forming friendships. He was asked,
"What
person can be the best friend?"
"He who helps you remember God, and he who reminds you when you
forget Him," he replied.
Then the Prophet (saw) was asked, "And which friend is the
worst?" "He who does not help you when you remember God and
does not remind you of God when you forget," he replied.
The Prophet (saw) was further asked,"Who is the best among
people?"
He (saw) replied, "He who when you look at him, you remember
God" (because of his noble character, devotion to God, and concern
for others).
These
are the principles that should guide our friendships. Is this the criteria
we use in our friendships today? Indeed, there is no blessing greater than
a friend who helps us succeed in this life and reminds us about the real
purpose in this life, only if we realized before it's too late! It can be
very difficult to live up to these principles when we have people of the
same age urging us on to be "part of the posse", and to be
involved in forbidden, illegal, immoral, or haraam fun for "the pomp
and glitter of this life".
Difference
Between 'Friendship' & 'Acquaintance'
It
should be pointed out that there is difference between a
"friend" (someone with whom you can share your values, secrets,
and trust), and "acquaintence" (someone to whom you should be
nice and caring, but don't neccesarily share your values and principles
with). Therefore, such Qur'anic verses should not be used to urge people
to isolate themselves from society and hate the people around them who do
not necessarily share the same beliefs and values they do.
In
fact, we know from the life of the Prophet Muhammad (sall Allahu 'alayhi
wa sallam) that this was never the case. The authentic biographies of
the Prophet are replete with incidences and sayings encouraging Muslims to
be kind, generous, and loving towards their neighbors and acquaintances,
regardless of their ethnic, religious, or social background. Very often
non-Muslim bedouins, neighbors, or travellers would benefit from the
generosity and extraordinary concern of the Prophet towards them.
http://www.weneedtounite.com/your_friends.htm